


Opportunities

by firewolfsg



Category: Kagaku Ninja Tai Gatchaman | Science Ninja Team Gatchaman
Genre: Gang Rape, Gen, Non Consensual, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, War Rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-27
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-27 03:12:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/657405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firewolfsg/pseuds/firewolfsg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Galactors captured the Eagle and Katse arranged for the unthinkable during his captivity.  In the aftermath of his ordeal, Ken must prove to himself and the rest of the world that the Galactors did not break Gatchaman.</p><p>Written April 1998</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Broken Wings

**Author's Note:**

> The departure from the official Gatchaman universe takes place during the first Gatchaman series, Episode 26 -- Godpheonix Come Back to Life. This is the episode where Ryu is relieved of his status as a member of the Kagaku Ninjatai and Ken encounters him during a mission, only to be captured by the Galactors.
> 
> According to Taketomi Ayako's Production Diaries, Ken was tortured during his captivity. What if ...

Ken groaned as he slowly swam back into consciousness. He had no idea how long he had been out, or even where he was. For the moment, he was only aware that his nose itched and his throat burned from the after effects of the knockout gas. The last thing he remembered was being surrounded by a red mist before darkness enveloped him.

As he slowly eased himself back into awareness of his surroundings, Ken had little doubt in his mind that he was a Galactor prisoner and that thought sent a surge of adrenaline through his veins.

[Why so pessimistic?] The irrelevant thought pricked at his consciousness as feeling returned to his body.

[Well for one, Washio. If you were safely back at base, you wouldn't be feeling this cold. Two, you'd be lying on a bed and not on a metal floor. Three, you'd be able to move your arms.]

The dull ache of having his arms held over his head started to make itself felt. He bit back a groan from the stab of pain caused by the restored circulation.

A cursory tug informed him that his wrists were manacled with the chain length probably looped to a restraining bolt. His ankles were similarly secured, but he had not been stretch out. That surprised him, he couldn't recall any reports of the Galactors ever restraining their prisoners on the floor or even allowing them that much play with the chains.

There was just enough slack to twist around and move, but not enough to bring his hands to his belt where he had lock picks. Not that he really needed the lock picks to free his hands from the manacles, but it would have been much easier and faster to work with them. The ankle restraints were another matter.

[Wish I could see what they have around my ankles. Why is it so dark? Dark? Wait a minute--]

Ken slammed into full consciousness with the impetus of fear. [A blindfold! They removed my helmet?! But how?] He fought back the edge of panic at the implications.

Gatchaman was exposed! His identity was surely compromised! The Galactors must have taken his picture and traced his real identity by now.

Restraints aside, Ken never felt more helpless in his life. His civilian life was not much to crow about, but it had at least been a retreat from the responsibilities that belonged to Gatchaman. With his identity exposed, that life was now forever denied to him. He had no other sanctuary from the war.

Somehow, Ken managed to quell these thoughts. It did nothing to help his situation and he would be no help to the others if he didn't escape first. He had the team to consider. Nambu had to be notified of the uniform's flaw. Ryu was still a prisoner somewhere on the base...

Ken cursed himself for his foolishness for not calling for backup. Joe and the others had no way of knowing where to even start looking for them. Ken was bitterly aware that he and Ryu were going to have to depend on themselves to get out of this mess.

[First things' first, Washio. Think you've recovered enough to at least do *something*? Let's see what kind of mess you got yourself into.]

He gripped the chains in his hands and prepared to pull himself towards the bolt nearer his head. Again he had to puzzle over why there was enough slack in the restraints to allow him to pull his hands into reach of the blindfold.

As he slid over the smooth floor, a nagging feeling of deficiency screamed at him. He froze just short of reaching his blindfold when he realized what was missing as he rolled on his side. The familiar pressure of the belt was no longer around his waist.

An edge of fear intruded in his thoughts. The rest of his uniform was still intact, but if the Galactors found out that much about how to remove his helmet and belt, how far--?

A door opened to the far left and Ken heard as much as felt the approach of several soldiers from the slight trembling of the floor. Someone grabbed his foot and pulled him down, jerking his hands out of reach of the blindfold once more and making him land on his front.

"Finally awake, Gatchaman? You must find our hospitality much to be desired, but we do hope you'll enjoy the--entertainment Katse-sama has asked us to arrange on your behalf."

A harsh laugh surrounded him and he sensed the soldiers moving to encircle his position. Ken was sure that the Galactor interrogation teams were much smaller and less clamorous. The whole ordeal was confusing him, nothing he had ever read on Galactors' dealing with prisoners fit with his current situation.

*~*~*~*

Ryu's unadorned feet padded softly down the lonely corridors of the base. He hadn't met anyone since he escaped his cell and he wondered how much longer his luck would hold before the alarm was raised.

Ryu frowned in puzzlement at the deserted nature of the base.

[Must be the night shift, or something. It's like there's minimal staff up and about.]

He hugged the walls, moving with all the stealth he had learned from the ISO trainers. He may not be a member of Kagaku Ninjatai anymore, but that did not mean he had given up any of his abilities with the loss of status.

Luck stayed with him when he heard the sound of voices from one of the rooms ahead. As he crept closer, Ryu had to fight to hold back his crow of joy when he realized that he was nearing the control and communications center. Somewhere in there, he'd be able to learn where his commander--where Gatchaman was being held.

At least one of the voices was familiar to him.

"Very good, base commander. You are achieving better time than you earlier estimated. You are already weeks ahead of schedule."

"Thank you, Katse-sama. We hope this means you won't mind that I've given the men more--time off to rest and entertain themselves."

"But of course."

[Katse? Giving them a day off? I thought the man was a slave driver?]

"So how went your first session with Gatchaman?"

[First session?]

The base commander laughed appreciatively. "You were right to caution us, Katse-sama. Gatchaman is as dangerous as his reputation. We had a fighter and a biter on our hands. The boy almost gelded a few of our men and he actually managed to slip free of his restraints twice!"

"Fortunately for us, we were able to overpower him through sheer numbers. But he did come close to escaping once. We counted three dead, with five more in the infirmary and the casualties would have been greater if he hadn't been encumbered."

[What's he talking about?] Ryu looked around the door cautiously, to see the base commander speaking to the image on the screen. Ryu's eyes widened when he saw Ken's helmet and belt on the floor, apparently tossed there carelessly by the base commander.

"I know you didn't want us to drug him, Katse-sama, but it was much safer for us all to use the drugs, dispense with the restraints, and just dedicate some of the men to holding him down."

"Whatever is effective, commander. Did you--"

"As you commanded." The base commander grinned as he slipped a digital video disk into the console and started the play back. "Please, allow me to show you the highlights."

Ryu clamped a hand over his mouth. He was barely able to hold back his cry of outrage, when the side screens started playing.

Katse's attention was turned to one side as if he was watching a different monitor. A smile of amusement painted his lips.

"Quite a feisty lad, don't you think." The base commander tapped a few more keys. "We managed to get a few good sequences--"

Ryu squeezed his eyes shut as involuntary tears of horror welled up in his eyes. [Oh god, Ken.]

"What? No screams or cursing from our bird in bondage?"

"Not for lack of trying on our part. And if Gatchaman cried at all, the blindfold would have soaked up his tears." The base commander shrugged as he fast-forwarded the recording a few more times. "Ahh, here it is. As you can see, the drugs softened our caged bird's song and they did save us from losing too much more blood."

It took all of Ryu's acclaimed strength to stop himself from charging forward and squashing the base commander like a bug. But the distance between him and the hated Galactor was too far. Katse would see him first and raise the alarm.

He was unarmed. And if the base was roused, Ryu couldn't be sure that he could take them all on alone without the bird style. He had to bide his time, if not for his own survival, then for Ken's sake. First, he needed to find out where the Galactors were holding him.

"It is *too* obvious that Gatchaman has been drugged, commander."

"But he does struggle more erotically, don't you think? Unfortunately, it also makes it more difficult to revive him."

"And currently?"

"When we were unable to revive Gatchaman, we replaced the restraints and left him in his cell under guard. It would probably be another three to four hours before we can continue."

"Carry on then. He *will* break eventually. What ever happens, you will still prepare him for my arrival, commander."

"He will remain unmarked as commanded."

"Very good. That is a privilege I reserve for myself alone." Katse smiled maliciously, "Send me the disk at earliest opportunity. In the mean time, keep it safely, commander. It will be a valuable tool to our propaganda department."

"Of course, Katse-sama."

With that, Berg Katse's face disappeared from the screen, leaving the base commander alone with the recording on the side screens. He chuckled to himself as he replayed choice bits for his own viewing pleasure, the feverish cries and taunting of the Galactor soldiers drowned out any telltale sound of an intrusion in the room.

Without warning, the base commander's head was smashed into one of the screens. Not with enough force to kill him though, but enough to crack the screen and stop one playback.

"Where are you holding him?"

Ryu almost couldn't recognize his own growling utterance. He was angry, his blood was near boiling point and the Galactor commander was made fully aware of the raging gray eyes that bore through him.

"Where is he?"

Ryu was hardly aware of the trickle of moisture at his feet as the gibbering commander croaked out the answer he wanted.

With an almost casual gesture, Ryu snapped the Galactor's neck and threw the corpse away from him in disgust. The second screen still played it's hated recording, mocking him with its existence.

Ryu could not withhold his anger any longer. He smashed his fists through the console, ripping and tearing at the guts of the spluttering machine until he could rent the offending video disk from its carriage. He first snapped the disk into two, then broke it once more into quarters. Ryu continued folding and breaking the disk into as small a piece as his great hands could manage.

[No one is ever going to see that sick monstrosity. *No one*!!]

Ryu dropped the shiny bits of material into the spluttering console and looked down at his cut and bleeding hands, which still trembled before him. He clenched them into fists as he turned away from the console and glanced about him guiltily. In his distraction, he could have allowed a Galactor patrol to sneak up on him and take him down. Then where would he be? No use to his commander, that's for sure.

His luck held out so far. No alarms sounded for his rash destruction of the console. But then again, the base was half finished. The necessary alarm systems were probably not completed yet.

Ryu grabbed up Ken's helmet and belt from the floor and started towards the exit, stopping only long enough to wipe his feet on the corpse. He wasn't going to dwell on his good fortune, it might not last forever and Ken needed him now!

"Ryu?"

The big man froze when he saw the white winged figure slip in through the door to face him.

"Ken, oh my God. Ken, are you all right?" Ryu couldn't stop his eyes from being drawn towards the marks of crusted fluid and blood that adorned his commander's usually pristine white uniform. "You're blee--"

"The blood's not mine. You--know don't you?" Ken asked quietly turning his face away. He let his brown hair fall over his face. Hair that usually fell softly about his face was now too obviously streaked with filth and muck.

Ken wouldn't look at him. Ryu didn't know what to say to him, it was already too late to lie.

"Um, I--er--have your helmet and belt."

"Thanks." Ken accepted the items from him, still refusing to look at Ryu.

It wasn't until he had the belt back in its usual position, and the helmet on, that Ken turned to meet his eyes. "We have to get you out of here, Ryu. I remembered seeing scuba gea--"

It was just at this moment when their luck ran out. Katse's face appeared on the still intact main screen.

"Commander, I find myself too impatient to wait for-- Who are you?!"

An alarm klaxon began to wail through the base and a thunder of approaching feet sounded from the corridor.

"Ryu, close the doors."

Ryu obligingly launched himself at the part of the console, which still existed and managed to find the controls to seal them in.

"You are trapped, Gatchaman. Even as I speak the crew of the Black Ray are boarding for launch. They can easily bring the ship around to destroy the base. It would be no loss to me, Gatchaman. The base is only half finished. Surrender."

"No." Ryu snarled, "No surrender, I would rather die."

Ken glanced over at Ryu for a moment before he turned his attention back to Katse.

"The Black Ray hasn't finished boarding yet, has it?" He smiled at the Galactor leader, as he touched a few keys, "You know, Katse. If we opened all the water ports now, everyone on this base will drown."

"That includes yourself!"

"Oh shut up!" Ryu hurled a chair at the monitor, shattering it.

Seawater flooded into the base and swamped the Black Ray with all aboard. Ken and Ryu were quickly aware of the effects of the open water ports as seawater started to seep under the door.

"I'm sorry Ryu, I wanted to give you a chance to leave."

"I couldn't be happier to die side by side with a braver man."

"Then I should make sure the others are aware of your bravery and sacrifice, Owl Ryu." Ken raised his wrist communicator, "Nambu Hakase, this is Gatchaman... "

*~*~*~*

But they cheated death again that day. With Ken's transmission, Joe managed to find the stricken base and bring the God Phoenix close enough for Jinpei to go in after them in his space buggy.

It had been close. Jinpei had reached them just as the water had closed over their heads.

Ryu didn't say anything about what he had witnessed. By the time the others saw Ken, any outward traces of his ordeal had been washed away by the seawater. He was content to let Ryu bask in the warmth and admiration of his village.

Nambu himself had flown in to present Ryu with his communicator and welcome him back to the Kagaku Ninjatai Gatchaman. Joe and the others could only express their relief to have them back. Though Jinpei could not resist adding a jab at Joe for his rather turbulent piloting. Ken and Ryu grinned and laughed at the antics of the pair.

For a moment, the events of the last few days were easily forgotten in their camaraderie. No one noticed Ryu's surreptitious glance at his commander to see if his ordeal had left any noticeable impression on his person. If Ken was under any strain, he hid it well.

As he piloted the God Phoenix back to Crescent Coral, Ryu wondered if his commander would approach Dr. Nambu later, or if he would remain silent. While Jinpei's attention had been on piloting his space buggy back to the God Phoenix, Ryu had promised Ken that he wouldn't say anything about what had happened to him. Now Ryu had to wonder if the promise would do more harm than good for his commander.

After giving over his command chair to Nambu, Ken had stood behind it, leaning his arms lightly on the back of the chair. He stayed in that position on the entire flight back and it quickly became apparent that he had fallen asleep. The others had loathed waking him for the boring flight.

The first indication the others got that something was wrong was when they landed.

"Hey commander, wake up! We're home."

Ken didn't stir to Joe's yell.

"Ken?"

Ryu growled and he left his seat to stand beside the white winged figure. "Kuso! He said he'd be all right."

The others were already on their feet in alarm. Ryu ignored them as he concentrated on gently unhooking Ken's arms from the back of the seat and cradling the slumbering figure in his arms.

"Ryu, what happened to Ken?" Nambu had come around the chair to take a closer look at Ken.

"He said he was okay. The bastards drugged him to--stop him from escaping." Ryu managed to bite back his angry words.

"Let me take him." Joe offered as he also left his seat to approach them, "You still have to lock down the God Phoenix."

"No. That's okay, I'll--I'll take him. Can you lock down the old girl, Joe?"

They stared at him in surprise. Ryu loved the ship and unless he was incapacitated, he usually insisted on carrying out the procedure himself.

"I feel responsible for this, okay?! It's--just this once, so don't expect me to give these chances away so easily--please, Joe?"

"S--sure. Don't make it a habit though." A sly grin touched his lips, "I might like it so much, I won't let you fly her."

"You're gonna have ta fight me for her, Joe." Ryu responded automatically.

In spite of himself, Ryu chuckled when he heard Jun push Joe aside to take Ryu's seat.

"Better let me do the lock down, Joe. The only controls you really know are the ones for the bird missiles and we know how pissed Hakase will be with us if we trash the docking bay."

"Hey! I *flew* the God Phoenix."

"And Jinpei and I are so grateful we survived the experience, we will be praying to the high heavens for the rest of our lives."

Ryu didn't catch Joe's reply, because by that time he and Nambu had entered the lift to be taken to the Infirmary level.

Nambu performed a cursory examination of Ken as he lay in Ryu's arms.

"Ryu, what happened?"

"He was--drugged. May--maybe interrogated."

Ryu was cursing himself inwardly. He could tell from Nambu's expression that the doctor knew he wasn't being told everything.

They continued their journey to one of the teams' high security recovery rooms in silence.

"Over there." Nambu gestured for the bed while he went straight for the medical cart to select the equipment he needed.

The trouble began when Ryu tried to lay Ken on the bed. He had been forgetful enough to try and place Ken down rump first. Ken immediately surged forward in pain back into Ryu's arms. He barely avoided the lashed out fist when Ken felt Ryu's arms reach around him.

"Ken, it's Ryu." The big guy did his best to avoid the buffet of limbs, "Ken, we're at Crescent Coral. You're okay. It's Ryu. Ken, it's Ryu."

Nambu was frozen in shock. He didn't want to believe what he was witnessing and the implications, which were screaming at him.

"Ryu, let me stand." Ken gasped as he stopped struggling. "It hurts. Please let me stand."

Ryu helped him up again and let him lean against him. "There's a shower here, Ken."

Ken nodded and looked up to notice Nambu silently staring at him.

"Ken, what--did Katse--?" The controlled fury behind the words was unmistakable.

Ken looked away. Nambu desperately wanted to have his suspicions disproved. He wanted Ken to *not* confirm the thoughts, which had suddenly lanced into his mind.

It looked as if Ken was gathering himself together first, before he finally turned his gaze back to lock eyes with his mentor.

"I was gang raped. The--rapists were--all drowned with the destruction of the base."

The words were spoken quietly, but to the other two men it sounded as if they had been shouted in their face.

Nambu's face had gone very pale and his hands gripped the medical cart as if to keep him from falling.

"If you don't mind, Hakase, I think I need a shower."

Ken gently but firmly extracted himself from the encirclement of Ryu's arms and entered the adjoining bathroom.

The sound of the shower starting jerked Nambu from his shocked silence. He stumbled over to the visitor's chair and sank into it.

"Wha--what do you know of--of this, Ryu?"

"I--I saw some of it. The Galactors recorded it. But I destroyed the recordings, Hakase. No one need ever know."

Nambu looked up at him expectantly. Since Ken had voiced it himself, Ryu felt no more need to keep his silence with their mentor.

"He tried to fight them off, Hakase. But there were--there were too many of them. They drugged him... " Ryu could not meet his eyes anymore. "I don't think Ken wants the others to worry, Hakase."

Nambu looked back at the shower, his face suddenly haggard and pale.

"Ryu, keep the others occupied. Let me talk to Ken. I--I'll let you know when he'll be ready to face them again."

"I won't say anything to them, Hakase."

"I know you won't, Ryu. Tell them--tell them that I need to run Ken through detox. Clean the drugs out of his system. That isn't a lie. I--I'll talk to you again later if he's--if--Just--keep them away."

"Hai."

*~*~*~*

"Why can't we visit Aniki no Ken?" Jinpei wailed as he despondently moped about the Crescent Coral family room.

"Jinpei, you know detox can be a trying enough procedure. Ken doesn't need us hovering around him and making him feel like an invalid. You know he hates that." Jun didn't look up from the magazine she was flipping through for the fourth time since they entered the room.

She shuddered inwardly, thinking of her own experiences in detox after some missions. The tubes that had to be run though them to clean the blood was bad enough, but the controlled air intake mask to make sure no traces of residual gas were left in their system was murder. She could almost feel the rise of a sympathetic line of pimples on her face where the uncomfortable mask had to be clamped on over nose and mouth.

"But that was ages ago! Detox doesn't take *that* long."

A fact they all knew as well. Which meant some complications must have arisen and they really wanted to know what was going on. But Ken would be cranky enough with the tubes and mask, to want spectators watching as well.

"Hakase, will tell us when we can see him." Ryu took another swig of beer. "He probably has a few tests he wants to run first."

Joe hadn't said anything yet, but he was looking at Ryu rather intensely.

"Hitting the beer a bit early aren't you, Ryu?"

Ryu managed to hold back his flinch as he placed the now empty bottle beside the ones at his feet. "Galactor hospitality stinks. I didn't have a beer in three days. I have some catching up to do."

"I suppose."

The minutes ticked by again. Ryu contemplated getting another beer from the bar, but decided that Joe would probably start asking probing questions if he did. The reek of suspicion was just rolling off the Kagaku Ninjatai second-in-command.

"Ryu... "

The swishing slid of the door never sounded so welcomed to Ryu. Clearly, it was enough to draw Joe's attention away from him when Dr. Nambu entered the room. Ryu noted that their mentor looked much better than he did several hours ago. He was even at ease enough to smile at the clamor Jinpei created when the boy saw him.

"So? How's Aniki no Ken? Is he all right? Can we see him? How come you took such a long time?"

Nambu waved the questions off, "We weren't familiar with the drugs Galactor used this time. But it's been resolved and I've given him a clean bill of health. We still want to keep him under observation for a while though."

"Can we see him, Hakase?" Jun carefully placed the magazine down and turned towards him.

"Of course."

"Yeeaaaa!"

"Jinpei!" Jun missed catching their G4 as he tore out of the room.

"We'd better catch up with him before he knocks Ken out of his bed." Joe pushed himself out of his chair and started in a dead run after the boy.

Jun was only two steps behind him.

"Hakase?"

Dr. Nambu's facade slipped for just a moment as he turned towards Ryu. "He says he's all right and he can deal with it. Ken doesn't want it to become a team problem."

Ryu nodded and started for the door.

"Ryu?"

"Hakase?"

"Are you--sure you destroyed all the recordings?"

"There was only one disk." Ryu's face grew black at the hated memory. "I tore it into as many pieces as I was able to and it's now at the bottom of the sea."

Nambu nodded and waved him off.

After he was left alone, Nambu went to the bar and poured himself three fingers of whisky.

[Dear lord,] He downed the alcohol in one gulp, [should I tell Kentaro what I've let happen to his son?]

*~*~*~*

Ryu nodded to the guard before he entered the recovery room to see Ken, who was looking only a touch pale as he was propped up on the bed with half a dozen pillows.

"Feels worse each time doesn't it?" He heard Joe ask him.

"Gods. You'd think it would be easier to just give me a complete blood transfusion. Hakase must have run my blood through that damn machine *three* times. At least he let me ditch the mask."

Jun chuckled at his exasperated expression as she occupied the only visitor's chair in the room. She turned to Jinpei who was now perched at the foot of the bed with the remote control for the TV.

"Jinpei, is *this* why you wanted to come see Ken? For the TV in the bedroom?"

"Hey, that's not true." But Jinpei didn't even take his attention off the tube as he flipped through the channels.

"Leave him alone, Jun." Ken laughed as he nudged the boy through the blankets with his toe. "Jinpei, you do realize there are no games on this console?"

"None? That's criminal! You should complain to the management."

They all laughed. Ken looked towards the door where Ryu stood. The big guy's expression was still troubled and he was a little surprised at the change, which Ken had effected for them.

"You can come in Ryu. He's not going to bite." Joe called over to him.

Ryu was the only one who saw the slight muscle twitch on Ken's face.

"I'm sorry." The words were blurted out before he could stop them.

Ken closed his eyes and shook his head in dismissal of his statement.

"For what?"

"I should have told you--" Ryu rushed to his side and knelt beside the bed.

"And *I* should have called for backup before I followed you." Ken waved away his apology, but his eyes caught Ryu's with an intensity that prevented Ryu from looking away, "You couldn't have done anything to prevent my capture, Ryu. Even with backup, I would have still been a prisoner for at least several hours."

"*None* of this is your fault, Ryu." Ken reached out to grip his shoulder and give it a gentle squeeze.

"I still feel responsible."

"Don't think of it."

"I'm sor--"

"Ryu." Ken gave him a gentle shake. "As your commander, I am ordering you to drop it. You are blameless. And I *mean* it."

The silence was deafening, broken only by the noise from the TV as Jinpei continued to channel surf.

"Hey! Cartoons! All right! They're showing the classic Looneytunes."

"I like Bugs."

"Oh, I could imagine you and Katse in the Rabbit season, Duck season exchange, Joe." Ken grinned slyly.

"'Wabbit.' 'Duck, fire!' Bang! That was a classic. But you, I could see as 'Duck Dodgers of the 24th and a half century!'"

"Naahh, Marvin. He's the one I wanted to be as a kid, 'Where's the Ka-boom? There was suppose to be an earth shattering, Kaboom?'"

The atmosphere of the room turned boisterous as they tried to outdo each other with impersonations of the old cartoons.

[Maybe I've been worrying too much.] Ryu thought to himself. [It's like--Ken is acting like nothing happen--]

The TV transmission dissolved into static stopping all conversation. Ryu felt his blood go cold. The Galactor Empire was about to broadcast another of their propaganda transmissions. He could feel it in his bones.

"Well, greetings Gatchaman. I must apologize for not giving you my personal attention during your last stay as my guest. It was such a pity that the base was destroyed and your vacation slides gone with it."

Ken began to go white. Ryu grabbed the remote control from Jinpei and tried to change channels.

"We can listen to this later. We're off duty now."

But every channel Ryu tried had the same transmission. He couldn't even turn off the TV.

"But never fear, you should be pleased to know we didn't lose everything. I did manage to recover some footage."

Jun overturned the chair and shrieked as she covered Jinpei's eyes and turned them both away, as Joe slammed back against the wall in shock. Ken dived forward to snatch the remote control from Ryu's numbed hands and throw it at the TV tube.

*~*~*~*

Red Impulse breathed raggedly as he stared at the spluttering television in his office. He could hear Masaki's shocked cries outside.

There was nothing he could do to stop the broadcast. At this moment, footage of the Galactor gang rape of his son was being transmitted to homes and offices around the globe. And there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing!

"I will destroy the Empire. I swear, Berg Katse, I *will* kill you for this." Kentaro Washio stared with insane hatred at the remains of the television set.


	2. Consequence

"HOW THE HELL COULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM US??!!"

Joe had not stopped screaming since Ken threw them out of his room.

Nambu reached up to pinch the skin between his eyes before he turned his gaze towards the other members of the Kagaku Ninjatai Gatchaman.

They were all currently in the briefing room. Joe was in top form; ranting and raving like a madman. Jun and Jinpei were still silent and shell shocked at the revelation. Ryu had sunk into himself with guilt, and it was he who was the current object of the Condor's ire.

"Joe, this was Ken's request." Nambu spoke quietly, trying to turn his anger away from Ryu. "And please stop shouting."

"We are a team! How could you keep this from us?!"

"It was Ken's decision to be silent, this was not a team concern. Katse wanted to break Gatchaman and destroy the morale of the team. And the method he chose was rape." Nambu stared him down. "I've talked to Ken. He understood Katse's intentions and with the recordings destroyed, he didn't want you to be troubled by what he went through."

"So what did we just see? They're legitimate, aren't they?! Those recordings are real!" Joe swung towards Ryu again. "If the recordings were destroyed, how did Galactor get their hands on them again?!!"

"I--I destroyed them. That was the only disk. I ripped it to pieces." Ryu choked through his tears, "I don't know--I--I--Oh my God!"

"What?!"

"Katse was talking to the base commander about the rape, that's when--that's when I found out what they did to Ken. The base commander was transmitting some parts of the playback."

"AND YOU DIDN'T STOP HIM??!!!"

"I wasn't sure if I could take on a whole base without the bird style. If I attacked him then, the alarm would have been raised! I had to find out where they were holding Ken."

"As if he needed you! You said so yourself, Ken met you in the control room without your needing to look for him!"

"Joe! Stop this! Ryu couldn't have known! He did what was right at that time!" Nambu slammed his fist on the table, making all of them look at him in surprise. "Joe, look at the team now. This is *exactly* why Ken didn't want to tell you what happened. He didn't want to destroy the team."

"FUCK THE TEAM! KATSE HAD HIM GANG RAPED AND SOMEONE HAS TO PAY FOR IT!"

"But is it fair for us to blame Ryu?" Jun finally spoke.

"Huh?"

"Ryu was only doing what we've all been trained to do. Use our heads to know when it would be an appropriate time to attack and gain advantage of the situation. He waited, despite his own feelings, and attacked and killed the base commander once it was safe to do so." Jun looked up at Joe, "If he hadn't, he would have risked capture and lost the opportunity to destroy the video disk."

"In view of the danger to the video disk, Katse could have asked the base commander to transmit the full contents immediately for safekeeping. Katse could have had it all instead of only the snippets that the base commander showed him."

Joe took a step back and looked ashamed.

"If I had got there before the conversation took pl--"

"You wouldn't have known about the disk." Joe interrupted Ryu, "And if you didn't know, you couldn't have destroyed it and Katse would have easily recovered it from the wreckage. I'm--I'm sorry I yelled at you, Ryu. Ken was right. You're blameless. I'm sorry."

Ryu still couldn't look up to them. Whatever words of comfort were said, the big man would still feel some guilt for what had happened.

Joe turned to look over his other teammates. Jun had spoken for a while, but she withdrew once more into her own world as she hugged her knees to her chest. Jinpei... the boy hadn't spoken at all since Jun carted him out of Ken's room.

Just less than an hour ago, they had been laughing. Less than an hour ago, Ken had chosen to spare them from his nightmare. They were a team, they couldn't let him deal with this alone.

"Come on." Joe pulled on Ryu's shoulder and reached for one of Jun's hands. "Let's go back to talk to Ken."

"Joe, wait. Give Ken some time, he knows we'll be there for him. But he also needs some time on his own--"

A message alarm sounded on Nambu's desk console.

"Hakase, Gatchaman has left the base in the Eagle Sharp! He didn't file any flight plans--"

The Kagaku Ninjatai were immediately out of the door.

*~*~*~*~*

Ken circled the Eagle Sharp above the smoking airfield. In all the drama, he had almost forgotten his first fear when he had awakened as a Galactor prisoner.

[Gone. It's all gone.]

Tears streamed down his face as he flew low over the smoking ruins that had been his home. An airfield, which his father had left to him... the last connection he had to his family. It was almost a certainty that he had lost everything. The sight of the smoking crater that marked his shack brought a fresh onslaught of tears.

[It's all gone.]

The God Phoenix stayed in the clouds above the devastated airfield.

"They destroyed it," Joe whispered as he looked at the screens, "He's lost everything."

Ryu could no longer speak. His tears spoke enough for him, as did his white knuckled grip on the flight stick.

"Should we hail him, Joe?"

"No. Hakase is right, Ken knows that we are there to support him." Joe shook his head, "We've already angered him enough when we--when we tried to crowd him. He'll let us know when he'll be ready to talk to us."

As if to give concordance to Joe's statement, the Eagle Sharp swooped near the God Phoenix and waggled its wings to them before returning to Crescent Coral.

"Katse, you will pay for this." Joe muttered under his breath, "However long it takes, we will have our pound of flesh."

*~*~*~*~*

Nambu didn't have to lift his head to see who had entered when the door to his office banged open. He had been expecting this visitor from the moment the broadcast appeared.

"Kozaburo, how could you do this to me?"

Nambu looked up at Red Impulse, "Close the door first, I'll turn on the white sound generator."

Red Impulse snarled as he kicked the door shut behind him with enough force to rattle the pictures on the walls. Nambu had hardly flicked the switch on his table when the red uniformed man grabbed him by his lapels and pulled him over the table.

"I gave Ken into your care to protect him! How could you let this happen?!"

"Kentaro! I couldn't! I couldn't protect him! From the moment Ken volunteered to be part of the Kagaku Ninjatai project, he placed his life on the line. I couldn't stop him, he is his father's son." Nambu knocked his hands away. "When the Galactor Empire first appeared, there was always that chance... that risk that he'd never come back... that he or anyone of the other children would be injured, or hurt so badly they'd die, or... or--I never considered it'd actually--that Katse would actually--"

Kentaro Washio backed off. Pain and guilt was fairly rolling off the doctor, there was nothing to be done about the past. The Kagaku Ninjatai project was too important to lose. And Gatchaman was too important an icon for the fight against Galactor.

Even if he had wanted to, Kentaro knew that he couldn't pull Ken out of the project now. It would hurt him worse than any other abuse Katse could heap upon him.

"How is he?"

"He steeled himself to be tortured. It--it caught him by surprise, but he understands that the desired result was the same. Ken--Ken's refused to speak to the councilors. He promised that he'd work it out himself."

"That is good to hear."

"Kentaro, Ken needs his father. He's lost your airfield. The Galactors razed it to the ground several hours ago. He needs you."

Kentaro snorted, "Why? He did well enough without me for fourteen years."

Nambu could hear the deep bitterness in his voice. "And nothing like this has ever happened to him, or to anyone he's ever known before."

"He needs to talk to someone, but he won't talk to the team, to me, or to the councilors. He says one thing, but what's going through his mind?"

"He deals with it as Gatchaman, but it's Ken I'm worried about. He gave me a report." Nambu threw the folder he had been reading on the table in front of Kentaro. "He insisted he submit one for mission records and for us to have a chronicle of--of Galactor procedures."

"The mask slipped. He started to draw a line through everything he wrote--even blackening some paragraphs so that what he wrote couldn't be read. I took it from him, and--told him I'd rewrite it for him. I--I'll modify it for official records and debriefing."

Kentaro stared at the report as if it was a live viper. It took a moment for him to build up the nerve to reach for it and open it to read Ken's neat script. Nambu stayed silent as Kentaro started reading.

"Doctors? Shifts?!" His face paled as he looked up at his oldest friend.

"He--wouldn't say exactly how long the assault... "

"He almost escaped... but midway in the shift they decided to increase the number of--?" Kentaro's hands were crushing the folder. He didn't want to continue reading, but his eyes were dragged back to the next paragraph.

> I tried one more bid for freedom, but I didn't know the order had come down to use drugs. I wasn't expecting the Galactor behind me when I slipped the wrist manacles off. I felt the pin prick in my neck before I could reach the blindfold and I lost all remaining strength.
> 
> I never felt more powerless in my life. The drugs made it easier for them. They didn't need the restraints anymore while I almost wished for them back in place. It was safer for them now that I no longer had the strength to break free of their grip or to cause injury.
> 
> They just kept coming at me and I couldn't fight back anymore. Using me like a cheap whore. Making me swall--

Kentaro couldn't read the sentences that followed since they were blackened. This went on for a few more lines, before the writing became legible again.

> I had to try to keep fighting them. They were recording this. Probably for propaganda showing of Galactor soldiers defiling and violating the Kagaku Ninjatai's White Shadow. I couldn't just give up. Gatchaman couldn't show defeat.
> 
> But my struggles weren't effective anymore. It just made the situation worse. I realized that my struggles were--exciting my attackers instead of discouraging them. It would be better if I--

Again the writing became ineligible because of the lines drawn painstakingly across the words to render them non-decipherable.

> I couldn't hope to escape anymore, but I couldn't allow myself not to fight them. So when they revived me that last time, I woke up, but I faked unconsciousness. Better to pretend than to really pass out completely. I couldn't let myself be unconscious too long. The drugs were already taking a harsh enough toll. I was already close to the point of no return.
> 
> It took them so long to give up trying to revive me and finally leave me alone. I nearly passed out waiting for them, but I managed to fight it back. Before they left me, they replaced the manacles and this time tightened the slack so I couldn't move.
> 
> By pretending unconsciousness, I bought myself time enough to recover and regain my strength despite the un-officials who showed up. They eventually stopped coming. Probably deciding I was more enjoyable awake.
> 
> The next change of guard gave me an opportunity I dare not miss. As soon as the guard he relieved left, he came in and released my ankle restraints. I had him pinned before he could even get his fly down. I got him to tell me the locations of the barracks, the control room and where they were holding Ryu before I killed him.
> 
> It seemed like a good idea at that time, but my body was still in shock. I really wasn't ready to try and make a break for it. I barely clung on to consciousness as it was. The only thing keeping me going at that point was the knowledge that Ryu was still a prisoner. That and the Black Ray mecha.
> 
> According to the guard, it was already near the midnight shift, so most of the soldiers were in the barracks. I locked down the section for the barracks and sealed the lock before I went looking for Ryu. That would keep the majority of the soldiers off our backs if an alarm were raised.
> 
> I shouldn't have needed to worry about Ryu. He had already escaped his cell and I found him where I'd expected him to be. He was tearing a disk to pieces. I guessed it was the recordings, I didn't want to ask.

Kentaro looked up at Nambu.

"The recordings were destroyed?"

"The complete set. Katse only had clips from a transmission with the base commander."

Nambu took the folder from Kentaro's hands before he could rip it to pieces.

"Go to him, Kentaro."

Red Impulse started to laugh, "And what? Step up to him and say, 'Ken, I'm the father who left you behind. I heard you were gang raped, so I thought you'd need to talk to your dad?'"

"Kentaro, isn't it time you tell your son the truth? Isn't it about time you stopped the lie?"

Kentaro Washio closed his eyes in memory of that difficult decision fourteen years ago. He thought it had been the hardest decision of his life, to fake his death and leave his sick wife and infant son in the care of his oldest friend.

It had ostensibly been to protect them from Galactor retaliation if his status as a spy was ever exposed. But the boy grew up to become Gatchaman, accepting with that position more danger than his father's status as a spy would ever thrust upon him.

"I can't, Kozaburo. His identity is out now. As long as the Galactors think he has no ties to anyone, they can't use him against me or me against him. Gatchaman is safer as he is, we can't compromise the icon he's become."

"Kentaro, he's your son! Stop thinking of him as a soldier! He's your son who isn't even old enough to be served at a bar!"

"I know, damn you! I know! I want to kill somebody for what he's gone through. I want to protect him! I want to hide him away from the war! But it'll kill him. He's Gatchaman first. He's Gatchaman."

"But under that mask, he's still Ken Washio, who just lost the last mementos of his family. He's still a boy who's been traumatized by rape!"

The two men stared at each other over the desk. The hum of the white sound generator sounded thunderous in their silence as fourteen years of tension clashed between them.

"How do you suggest I approach him, Kozaburo? I can't go to him as a father now. I haven't been his father for fourteen years. I don't know how to be one."

"You have to set the record straight sometime, Kentaro. You can't ignore it forever."

"I can't tell him now, Kozaburo. It'll only make things worse. But I will speak with him." Kentaro folded his arms and stared at his feet. "Humph, fat lot of good I'll do. I can't even approach him as a friend."

"Maybe--maybe that's what he'll need, Kentaro. He won't talk to his friends. He won't talk to the doctors. But maybe... he'll talk to a stranger he will trust."

"A stranger?" Kentaro could no longer hold back his tears. "But he's supposed to be my son."

*~*~*~*~*

"Get your lazy butt out of that chair and move it!"

"Huh?" Joe could not help but stare owlishly at Jun, who was now waving his car keys in front of his face.

"We're going to the Mall."

"What?" Before Joe could gather his thoughts, she had propelled him out the door and into the corridor where the others were waiting, also looking a bit chastised.

"I hate shopping." Jinpei mumbled.

This was the first time in a long while that Joe remembered hearing him speak. Ryu was hiding behind a pair of sunglasses. He was looking desperately hung over, but Jun was merciless as she herded them out of the ISO building.

"Jun--listen. We're not--"

"No, you lot listen to me. Ken just lost every memento that held any meaning to his life. We're going shopping for him. We're going to find and replace as much as we can find and give him more. Are you with me?"

"I could kiss you, Jun. I don't like shopping any more than Jinpei, but this sounds like a good plan."

Even Ryu started to smile. It was a good enough distraction, and it was for Ken.

*~*~*~*~*

"Jun, tell me again how we can afford this?" Joe glanced at her as they looked at an antique desk that they could swear was a twin to the much-loved desk Ken had had in his home office.

Joe could vouch for the similarities. It had been Ken's pride and joy, as it was his mother's desk. When Ken moved out of Nambu's house, Joe helped him to move the desk, bitching all the way because of its solid weight. It was like deja vu for him to be staring at the piece again. But the price tag was another matter.

"Hakase gave me his credit card."

"Heeeyyy."

"Sorry, only one large purchase and this is it. Hakase was the one who spotted it in the first place."

Joe folded his arms and pouted, "Cheapskate, but at least we've got one of his most important pieces."

Things started to look up from there. They were remembering the little things and the enduring quirks of their commander, which would permeate the things he owned. Ken was not a collector and he lived a mostly Spartan existence, but he had a few memorable items, which caused more than one of them to grin at the irrelevance of its position.

One of which was a bottle of novelty placebos (in truth jellybeans), on which was painted 'Sanity Control Pills' ostensibly prescribed by a 'Dr. I. D. Pressed,' which Ken displayed prominently on his desk. Ken had in all likelihood owned one of the first edition pieces. Jinpei managed to find one of the ninth editions and it was close enough.

The tin-plated Marvin the Martian pen rack was a little harder to locate, but not impossible. Most of his books were easy enough to buy though his hardcover first editions took a hard haggle to procure.

All in all, the team had spent an enjoyable afternoon hunting down memorabilia for their commander and it made them feel good again. The desk would be delivered by the next day, and they were discussing combing the news archives and Nambu's attic and basement for any mementos the doctor had kept of Ken's family.

The good feeling, unfortunately, did not last through the day. They had the misfortune to be walking pass a wall of televisions when the Galactor Empire made one of their illegal broadcasts again.

"Greetings citizens. I am sure you thought that last broadcast was the last bit of entertainment we had of your glorious Gatchaman. But far be it for us to deny you your viewing pleasure."

"No! Damn it! I don't want to--" Ryu tried to move away, but the press of the crowd around them trapped them in front of the TV screens.

"Don't look! Jinpei! Turn away!" Jun started to scream as the broadcast started, but the youngest member of the team could not avert his eyes.

"Fuck you, people! Why do you want to see this? Turn away!" Joe desperately wanted to run, but he couldn't without injuring the crowd that pressed around him with the morbid fascination of the indifferent.

They were trapped in the crowd.

"All that blood."

"s' not his apparently. Good lotta it musta belonged ta those--those animals."

"So young? How can we have kids fighting for us?"

"Ow! That's a novel way t' get circumcised."

The audience either gasped or flinched when Ken's head was rocked to one side with the retaliatory punch, but it quickly turned into a cheer when he immediately turned back and spat on his assailant.

"Tough lad, won't even give them a scream."

"So many--he's still fighting them."

"Ow, dat lot shodda know better dan ta get inta range o' dose teeth. Good on ya, lad!"

"Just a boy."

The atmosphere grew quickly somber at the next few scenes.

"They drugged him..."

"Filthy beasts."

"He's only a boy."

"Brutes. Jus--jus piling on 'im... bastards!"

"He's still fighting them. Hardly any strength left in him, and he's still trying to fight them off."

"Just a child."

"He never cried."

"Bloody hell not, he won't give them the satisfaction."

"Turn it off!"

"This is sick."

"Pigs."

The sales representatives shook themselves from their stunned passivity and started fumbling fruitlessly with the remote controls.

"Gatchaman's only a boy."

"Can't be older than sixteen? Seventeen?"

"Animals."

"Dear lord."

"Can't be older than my own kids..."

"The Kagaku Ninjatai are made up of children?"

"That Swallow does look kinda young."

"Turn it off!"

"Get offa him you effen' bastards!"

With the growing hostility of the audience adding impetus to their haste, the sales and equipment promoters had abandoned the remote controls and tried to mechanically switch off the televisions. But even the mechanical switches were not responding.

"Won't even give him a chance..."

"Dear lord."

"We don't got t' see dis! Turn it off!"

"I'd go mad if my son was..."

"Turn it off!"

"The bastards--he's passed out and they're not even..."

"Turn it off!"

"The rotters... "

"Turn it off!"

The department store manager finally pushed his way through the crowd to reach the wall and started pulling the electrical plugs from their sockets.

"Turn it off!"

One by one, the television screens went mercifully black as the chanting grew until the last television died. Only then did the crowd begin to disperse and move away.

"Jinpei! Jinpei! Speak to me! Jinpei!" Jun pushed through the thinning crowd to kneel in front of her brother.

The boy's face was white and he was still staring straight ahead at the black TV screens.

"Jinpei?"

"Onechan? Is--is this what will happen to us, if--if we're caught?"

"No." Jun hugged him to her, "God help us. It'll never happen."

"They made--they forced--Ken to sleep with those men."

Joe knelt beside him as well, "It's--just another form of torture, Jinpei. Gatchaman's a special case for Katse. Katse will try anything to break his spirit."

"How about you?"

"What's that?"

"Will Katse do the same to you?"

Both Joe and Jun turned several shades paler.

"Jinpei, let's not talk about this."

"Jun's right, it's best we try not to dwell on this, Jinpei. We're in a war, shit happens to everyone in a war."

"Even to Aniki no Ken." Jinpei whispered as they ushered him towards the car park.

*~*~*~*~*

Nambu sipped the coffee, politely waiting for Chief Anderson to speak. The older statesman was obviously ill at ease. The stress filled day had tried all their nerves. There had been at least two more broadcasts that day and the mood at Crescent Coral was decidedly glum.

After he had returned in the Eagle Sharp, Ken had retreated into the apartments set aside for the Kagaku Ninjatai to use when on base and hadn't emerged from his bedroom since. The team had returned from a fruitful day of shopping, but their mood was also somber from the transmission they had caught at the mall. Nambu wasn't sure if they had even been by to try and see Ken again.

The team had elected to stay at Crescent Coral rather than disperse to their civilian retreats. Nambu would have preferred to stay with them, but Chief Anderson's call had been expected and Nambu knew that he could not avoid the elderly statesman.

"Are the broadcasts legitimate?"

"Yes." Nambu really saw no point in lying.

Silence fell between them again. Anderson started to play with the pens on his table.

"Are you sure we can't discredit the broadcasts?"

"Sir, it--really happened. If we try to claim them to be false, the Galactors will pounce at the chance to expose our duplicity. The people will know we lied to them, and it will break their faith in the United Nations."

"Just a thought." Anderson tapped the pad of paper before him with his pen. "And... How is--Ken?"

"Healing."

"Really?"

"He's dealing with it in his own way."

"Kozaburo... " Anderson leaned forward and folded his arms over his desk, "Let me be direct. The UN was distraught. Yes, they know how young the members of the Kagaku Ninjatai Gatchaman really are, but now they question our right to push children into this war."

"With all due respect, Chief Anderson. These 'children' were neither pushed nor drafted into this strike force. Each of them are the best at what they do, and had to qualify for their position in the team."

"Yes, yes, I know about the suitability issue you had with the pilot for a while. But, Kozaburo, I have to mollify the UN in some way. What happened to Gatchaman--"

"Is a risk they know about, and which existed at all times. Every soldier, be they man or woman, stands this risk as a prisoner of war."

"Every *adult* soldier--"

"Maturity is not measured in years. Neither is skill or ability measured in tenure. The pilot and chief gunner are older than Gatchaman. They follow him because of his ability as a leader, not because of his rank."

"And are you sure his ability is not diminished by his--ordeal?"

"What are you asking me to do, sir?"

Anderson got up and walked around his table to stare out his window. Nambu stayed silent.

"Come stand beside me a moment, Kozaburo."

Nambu came alongside the portly old statesman and looked out at the park.

"See those kids over there?"

Nambu could not miss the group. Youths gathering for lunch in the park, to enjoy the sun and the company of friends.

"Can't be more than eighteen--nineteen?"

"I see them."

"Has Gatchaman ever had the chance to do just this?"

"He's not on duty all the time, sir."

"Kozaburo--"

"We can't disband the Kagaku Ninjatai Gatchaman, Chief Anderson. That would give Galactor a victory over us. And it will destroy the young man you're so concerned about right now," Nambu told him calmly, "Gatchaman will not let you order him to step down. He fought them, Chief. He fought against impossible odds until he realized it was counter productive, then faked unconsciousness. Then he lay low to wait until he had a chance to free himself and destroy the Galactor base. You can't ask him to give up now."

Anderson looked towards Nambu at his words.

"Gatchaman will not admit defeat."

"You are right of course, but--Nambu, we will always be concerned about your charges. He is still only a boy."

"A man cannot be judged by his age, Chief Anderson."

"I have to give the UN an answer. The public went ballistic with the broadcast. We've been accused of sending babies to fight this war."

"*Jinpei* will go ballistic if he heard that."

Anderson had to chuckle at this statement. He was not unfamiliar with the young Swallow's arguments and sensitivity towards his size and age.

"Have you made any changes for the team?"

"I've made the belt buckles coded to their own gloves, so they can't be removed by anyone other than a team member, same with the helmets and communicators. We've already included a closed systems transformation for the helmets against gas attacks. The designs are similar to their space gear, with air intake and filter valves hidden in the eye designs."

"That's good."

They fell silent again as they watched the activity in the park.

"You know we have to hold a press conference. I--I can spare Ken from this."

"Thank you."

"They are your kids, Nambu. How are *you* taking this?"

"One day at a time, Chief Anderson. One day at a time."

*~*~*~*~*

The half moon shone down upon a lone figure as he walked along the stretch of an ISO restricted beach alone with his thoughts. The roll and crash of the waves was the only physical sound around the white winged figure, but this soothing music of nature did not currently fill his ears.

> _"F$%king boots won't come off!"_
> 
> _"'s down far enough for us."_

The memory of the raucous jeers assaulted him mercilessly. He relived the pain of the assault, and the claustrophobic press of bodies around him.

> _"He's a tight one."_
> 
> _"Must be a virgin."_
> 
> _"Well, the boy ain't that anymore."_

A dull ache throbbed and reminded him of the only physical evidence he had been left with. For all their rough handling, the soldiers had been careful. There were bruises aplenty of course, but there were no other physical injuries. The periodic check of the Galactor doctors between shifts made sure of it.

> _"F%$k, 'e got loose!"_
> 
> _"But 'e's also lost his fight, heh?"_
> 
> _"Shouldav drugged him ages ago."_
> 
> _"Get those leg cuffs off and let's have some *real* fun, boys."_

It was no use, he thought that walking along the beach of his childhood would help bring back enough of his happier memories to block out his recent--troubles. The flashbacks were coming at shorter and shorter intervals now. He thought he had gotten over it.

When the team visited him after detox, it had been easy to forget. Hakase helped him clean and eliminate all evidence of the assault. The long talk they had during detox had helped, somewhat.

He understood that the assault was unavoidable. If not now, the assault could have taken place the next day, the following week, or even the following year. It happened on Katse's orders. It wouldn't have mattered if he had escaped capture that day. It would have happened eventually.

He knew he shouldn't feel ashamed. It was a myth to believe that rape couldn't occur to men. He had been overpowered through sheer numbers and later with the aid of drugs. He was just a target. The Galactors wanted Gatchaman broken in the most humiliating fashion they could conceive.

> _"Shoot yer load already! The next shift is due any moment."_

Nambu ran him through a battery of tests, so they were fairly certain he had not contacted a sexually transmitted disease. But it paid to be certain, he was going to have to monitor himself over the next few months to see if any delayed symptoms appeared. God help him, if it would take a few years for some symptoms to show up. At least they were certain he wasn't HIV positive.

[It's just another form of torture. They didn't harm me physically. It was meant to destroy me psychologically and diminish my ability to function as Gatchaman.]

"That's all it is." He whispered to himself.

> _"Come on mate, give the rest of us a chance t' have another go."_

Ken squeezed his eyes shut and shuddered. It didn't surprise him to feel the tears flowing down his cheeks.

"Damn it, Washio. Move on. It happened... it hurt... you know *why* Katse ordered it done. You're *not* going to let it drag you down. You're *not* going to let them beat you!"

His assailants were all dead and lying at the bottom of the sea. Most of the evidence was destroyed. There were only the snippets Katse had now.

> _"Turn him over. With those freakin' boots, it's gotta be easier the other way round."_

"Leave me alone."

He had yelled the same words at the team before he threw them out of his room. He managed to talk to them about the rape and their onslaught of questions did not faze him. But he couldn't deal with their sudden protectiveness.

Joe, against all character, was suddenly acting like a patronizing, angry and overly protective older brother. Ryu swung from being protective to guilt ridden with mercurial speed. Jun and Jinpei vacillated between disbelief and depression.

He felt as if they were trying to smother him with their concern. He *hated* being treated like an invalid. It felt like they had suddenly decided among themselves that he was damaged goods, to be packaged in bubble wrap and hidden away. They were only frustrating him with their undisguised coddling.

And later when they wouldn't stop reminding him of the ordeal, and couldn't stop apologizing for whatever unintended and imagined insensitivity they performed... He had blown up at them and thrown them out of his sight.

It was unfair of him to turn his anger on them then, but at that point he had been upset, admittedly confused by their reactions and irritated at their attempts to baby him. Their departure had left him alone long enough to brood over his current situation.

He wanted desperately to forget the ordeal and get on with his life. Then he remembered the inevitable exposure of his identity.

> _"Lost your bite now, heh, Gatchaman?"_

The loss of the airfield had been devastating. He had returned to Crescent Coral and locked himself in his room, refusing to see anyone.

When the two broadcasts were aired, he had watched them. Someone had thoughtfully provided him with a black cloth with which he could drape over the television screen, but he ignored it and sat on the sofa with his legs drawn up under him to watch it in silence.

The Galactors kept him blindfolded throughout the ordeal. When he watched it though, he felt a wash of relief to realize that the visual replay did not bring the sordid memories crashing down on him. It was--easy to disassociate himself from the starring role of the recording.

But the night brought with it a fresh surge of terror. Sleep gave him no refuge and the flashbacks started their assault with a vengeance. That was what drove him out into the night. He had hoped that a walk on the beach might help sooth his troubled mind, but he couldn't escape.

Ken stood still for a moment and tried to pinpoint his followers. He knew they were there from the moment he left the base. A faint smile touched his lips as he considered their almost unobtrusive presence. It *was* a stupid move for him to leave the base when there was a Galactor contract on his life, especially in his current state.

The man raised him, he shouldn't be surprised that Nambu could second guess him enough to arrange for their presence. He bitterly wondered if his bodyguards would really make a difference if Galactor chose to try to kidnap him now. Ken frowned slightly as he noted the increase in the numbers that started out with him.

> _"Hey now, will yer look at that?"_
> 
> _"Startin' t' relax, ain't he?"_

"Stop it!"

But the memories wouldn't stop and it was getting worse.

There was a movement behind him. Ken spun around and his hand flashed across himself.

To give the man credit, Red Impulse did not even flinch when the feathered shuriken whizzed past his neck, coming close enough to almost catch itself on his scarf.

"My first throw is a warning."

"I thought only your second-in-command carried the feathered shuriken?"

"That's what others assume. He's the best with them."

"You usually use your bird rang."

"You would be dead now if I did."

Ken turned away from the man. He knew the Red Impulse Captain did not miss the significance of his attack. If he had not stopped himself in time from reaching for the bird rang instead of the shuriken... It wasn't like him to attack first and ask questions later.

"Kinda extreme, isn't it, Gatchaman. You're supposed to be on protected ground."

"Do you honestly think the guards can make a difference if Katse decided to come after me now? An opponent is most vulnerable when they think that they're safe. We've lost more agents through carelessness than on missions."

"Touche."

"What do you want?"

"I--was concerned."

"Thanks. I'm okay." He started to walk away and was dismayed to sense the older man start after him to match his pace.

"I don't believe that."

"You're not the first."

"Nambu was concerned."

"He always is."

"Look, Gat--Ken. You can't pretend nothing's happe--"

Ken stopped walking to swing around at the Red Impulse Captain.

"What is it that you all want from me? Do you want an admission?! An acknowledgment that I'm not trying to deny the event?! Fine! I had the shit f$%ked out of me by a base of Galactors! I was probably lucky I didn't die from shock due to the sheer numbers and that all I came away with from the lead role of the Galactor gang bang was an aching jaw and a bleeding ass! Is that enough?! Are you satisfied?!"

Kentaro barely controlled his flinch from the words yelled in his face. He didn't want this meeting, Nambu had gone as far as to order him to talk to Ken. He couldn't look away and pretend that he wasn't aware of the pain the boy was going through.

The war was all he knew. Fighting an opponent in straightforward combat, or even stealing their secrets as a spy was what he was used to. He felt so utterly helpless in trying to offer comfort, especially comfort to a son he had never been a father to. But he couldn't turn away now.

"Do you trust me?"

"What?"

"I asked, 'Do you trust me?'"

"Y--yes." Ken frowned at him in puzzlement, lost for a moment in the sudden change of subject.

"Then will you tell me why you're acting so guilty?"

"What?!"

"You reek of guilt. It wasn't your fault!"

"I *know* that. The fact that it happened at all tells me Katse sanctioned the rape. It was more or less carved in stone that an attempt would be made."

"Then why are you still feeling guilt? Something else is eating at you. Something you haven't told anyone else."

"Haven't I talked enough? I'm sick and tired of talking about it."

"I asked if you trusted me."

"What about it?"

"I saw the report you gave Nambu. You colored out several paragraphs so he couldn't read what you had written. I want you to tell me what it was you didn't want to tell Nambu."

"Why?"

"Because if you don't talk to someone soon... If you don't get it off your chest, the Galactors will win. You'll eventually break."

"And how would you know that?"

"Why else would you be out here alone, in your current distracted state of mind, without protection or backup?"

"I can take care of myself."

Kentaro had a retort on his lips, but he held it back and waited. Something in Ken's stance told him that he was about to break his silence.

Perhaps Nambu was right after all. He could tell that Ken really needed someone to confide in. He wouldn't say anything to Nambu, or his friends and family. So maybe it *was* the right approach for the Red Impulse Captain to talk to Gatchaman. His patience was about to be rewarded.

"After--they administered the drugs--" Ken's voice started as a low whisper. "I--I ... They--they stroked me into an orgasm."

Kentaro was rocked back slightly as the rest of Ken's words came out with a rush of crushing guilt.

"I lost control... I tried to fight back, but it happened! I was responding to them, damn it! They jerked me off. They started laughing at me... telling me that the drugs lowered my inhibitions, so I--I must be enjoying it. That--I really wanted to get gang banged. That I would have been a willing participant if I--wasn't so uptight. I hated it! I didn't want to--but I could feel myself go hard and when they started again--"

His voice dropped once more into a subdued whisper. "I had another orgasm."

Kentaro didn't want to be there now. He thought that he was going to burst a vein. He didn't know how he could stand to be told what his son had just lived through. He wanted to kill somebody. He wanted to wring Katse's neck until he heard the bones break. He wanted to raze the Galactor Kingdom to the ground.

It was breaking his heart to look at his son now. To see the mask of Gatchaman slip and reveal the confused, traumatized boy beneath.

The white winged figure suddenly looked so small to Kentaro as he hugged himself. "I didn't--want--any of it. They nearly choked me--it was difficult enough to breathe--and they had me--responding--"

Kentaro desperately wanted to give his son a hug to reassure him, but he couldn't. Ken wouldn't be able to bare any physical contact in his current emotional state. He needed the reassurance of words now.

"You can't clamp down on all your senses, Ken. You can't tell yourself not to feel pain either. Your body was made to respond to the stimuli."

"They were raping me! I shouldn't have liked any of it!"

"When did 'like' come in? Didn't you *hate* every minute of it? You can experience an orgasm without pleasure. Experiencing physical arousal *doesn't* go hand in hand with pleasure. Just stimulating the prostate gland can give a man a hard-on no matter what his mind may want."

Ken looked up to stare at him with an arched eyebrow.

"When you get to my age, you start worrying about mundane things like--prostate cancer." Kentaro looked down and began to shift from foot to foot in discomfort. "I had a swelling down there and... so I was naturally worried."

Ken waited patiently for him to continue. Even in the faint light of the moon, he could see that the man was almost scarlet from embarrassment.

"The doctor warned me of the possible hardening during the examination, but it still took me by surprise. He didn't expect me to cream him either. I was so embarrassed."

Ken coughed back his snort of amusement.

Kentaro sneaked a peek at the white winged figure and was pleased to note the slight trembling of withheld laughter. "And it was a false alarm, my manhood is still intact and functional. Thank you for your concern."

This time Ken lost it as he howled in laughter.

"Feeling better?"

"Maybe."

"It's about time. The point is, Ken, it was pure physical stimulation. It *doesn't* mean you liked or enjoyed the experience. To some men, a simple touch can bring them off. That you held out as long as you did attests to your strength of will to resist their unwanted attentions."

Kentaro was gratified to note that Ken had unfolded his arms as he mulled on his words. The grip was still in place, but it was at least a more relaxed stance then the rigid tightness of a few minutes ago.

He still looked so... vulnerable. Kentaro could feel the ache in his heart, which wanted him to reach out and hug the youth to him as a father would his son. But he dared not be so bold.

However, Kentaro could take the requisite two steps forward that would allow him to put his hand on Ken's shoulder. There was a slight flinch at his touch, but Ken allowed him the grip.

"It isn't your fault." Kentaro squeezed his shoulder gently. "You will survive this."

"I must, Red Impulse. Gatchaman must rise above it."


	3. In the Dark

"What the fuck?" Joe reached for his bedside lamp to stare blearily at the clock.

He heard the persisting knock on his door again and got up angrily, wondering who would be by so late at night.

"Do you know what time--" He flung open the door angrily, but his words trailed off when he saw who was at the door.

"Joe?" Jun stood outside wearing a robe. "Can--may I come in?"

"Is something wrong? Did something come up with Ken?" Joe looked at her in concern.

"No, no, nothing like that. I was--I was wondering if we could talk?"

"Couldn't we wait till morning?" Joe groaned as he stepped aside so she could enter his room.

"No. I--I just wanted to ask you for a favor."

"Anything." Joe frowned slightly as Jun closed the door behind her and locked it. "Just ask away."

"Will--will you sleep with me?"

Joe choked. "What?" It came out as a squeak high pitched enough to start Jun giggling.

"Well? Will you?"

"Jun? What's this all about? We're not--we can't--?" Joe managed to get his voice under control, "Jun, you don't love me like that. Why are you asking me this?"

"Because I'm afraid." She looked down, "After--after what happened to Ken... I--I'm still a virgin, Joe. I don't--I don't want my first time--I can't ask Ken now. I don't know when he'll be ready after--"

Joe reach reached out to take her hands in his, "Jun, you shouldn't rush into this. It is a precious thing, you can't just give it away because of--fear."

"Joe, we're all at risk. I've never thought of it before, but if Ken--if it can happen to Ken--If I can't give it to the one I love, I want to give it to a friend I trust." Jun looked up at him, "Don't you want me? Aren't--aren't I desirable?"

"Jun, you're the most beautiful, bright--"

"Aren't I desirable?" Jun pushed him away from her. "What's wrong with me that you and Ken never notice! Aren't I pretty enough to even turn an eye?"

She slipped her robe off to reveal herself dressed in a darling black teddy.

Joe sucked in a deep breath and clamped down on his own emotions. In the dim light of his reading lamp, the black silk contrasted strikingly against Jun's pale skin and in spite of himself, Joe could feel his desire raging inside him.

"Of course you are, Jun." His voice sounded distinctly hoarse, "It's--it's not right. Jun, I--I won't be fair to either you or Ken. I'd be taking advantage of you. You don't do that to friends."

"I know what I want, Joe. I'm *offering* it to you. I don't want to lose it to--to strangers."

Joe turned away from her and sat down on his bed.

"Sit with me a moment, Jun?" He patted the mattress beside him.

Jun approached bending forward as if to kiss him, but Joe pulled her to sit beside him instead and placed a hand around her waist. His other hand reached out to grip her hands.

"You're really scared about--being raped, aren't you?"

Jun leaned her head against his shoulder. "Yes."

"I am too."

Jun looked up at him, "You are? I thought--I thought you'd think--"

"Anyone in their right mind would be afraid, Jun. To see what happened to Ken... " Joe held her closer. "He was okay until we found out, until we started--trying to, I guess, baby him. When we didn't know about it, he could deal with it. I don't know if I... "

"I think I'd go mad, Jun. If Katse, if anyone had--Ken is Gatchaman, he's supposed to be invincible, indomitable. But despite all his skill and his prowess the Galactors had complete power over him..." Joe's hand tightened around her waist involuntarily.

"And here I am thinking--thinking of how many times Galactor managed to hold the rest of us prisoners. Makes me--wonder--how we managed to escape the same treatment all this time."

"We're just the lackeys," Jun said lightly, "Gatchaman was--a better target."

"And they nailed him. Are we up next?"

Jun looked up at him again, "So... you're afraid too?"

"We've been held prisoner before." Joe couldn't stop his inward shudder. "But this--was the first time they ever got a hold of him. Will they work on us next?"

"Don't talk like that, Joe." Jun clung to him and shivered. "I don't want to think it'll--that we'll--that--"

"Jun, the fact is that danger will always be there. It *was* always there. We're now--forewarned, so don't think we're all not going to be more careful or more vigilant than before. Hakase modified the bird styles to make them proof against gas attacks and non-removable by a third party. Ken will never let it happen to us or to him ever again. We have to have faith in that."

Joe shifted in her embrace to look her in the eye. "It is a precious thing that you're offering me, and--I'm flattered. But I can't accept it, Jun. This is something you should be offering to someone you love. I'm not that someone. Ken is the one who loves you, just as you love him."

"But he's never--"

"Fraternizing in the ranks is frowned upon, remember?" Joe stroked her cheek gently. "Our commander can also be as dumb as a post when it comes to showing his love."

A quick grin danced on her lips.

"If you want him, you're going to have to be bolder, Jun. That's all there is to it. Otherwise, you may be an old maid before he makes the first move,"

"But not now."

"No, he's hurting too bad right now. You'll know when, and you can give it to him then."

"You really think he'll be okay?"

"He has to be. Gatchaman won't let the Galactor's win." Joe turned away and stared across the room for a moment, "I wish there was some way we could help him, but he has to deal with it himself. We can only show him that we're all going to be there supporting him."

They stayed in each other's embrace for a while, taking comfort in each other's presence. Eventually, Jun disengaged herself from the hug.

"Joe? Thank you for understanding."

"It is a priceless gift, Jun. I regret I cannot accept it since it truly belongs to another."

She kissed him lightly on the cheek and left the room. Joe stayed seated on his bed until he heard the sound of her door opening and closing. He muttered a groan as he got up to turn towards the adjoining bathroom and start the shower running with cold water.

*~*~*~*~*

"Ryu?"

The Kagaku Ninjatai pilot turned bleary eyes towards the shape that now stood at his elbow. He stared for a while, waiting for his inebriated brain to tell his eyes to focus on the figure.

The bottle was firmly pulled out of his hand, and a mug of coffee shoved in its place. Ryu scowled as the smell of coffee started to assault his senses. The figure was finally taking shape before him.

"You've had enough. I'm closing the bar."

"Huh? Jinpei?"

In the dimmed lighting of the family room, Ryu could see that the boy was in his pajamas as he stared at him.

"You shouldn't be drinking so much."

"Leave me alone."

"No. I came out because I needed to talk to someone and you're it."

"Why? I'm useless."

"That's not true."

"I couldn't do anything right. The Galactors got the recor--"

"Ryu, if you were no good, Hakase wouldn't have let you back on the team!"

Ryu winced at the tone, "Please don't shout."

"Ryu, drink that coffee and talk to me or I'm turning up all the lights."

Ryu cringed, the way his head was feeling he definitely didn't want the room any brighter than it was now.

"You're the only one I can think of who will answer my questions."

"How about Jun?"

"She's a girl."

"She'll be glad you noticed. So what? You can ask her anything and she'll tell you."

"I can't ask her this."

"How about Joe?"

"I--I'm afraid to ask him. He--he'll only start yelling again."

Ryu took his first gulp of the coffee before speaking again. "Okay, okay what is it?"

"It's--it's got to do with Aniki no Ken."

Ryu closed his eyes and let his breath out in a hiss.

"What is it?"

"Why--why did those men want to sleep with him?"

Ryu drained the rest of the coffee before he looked at the boy again. The longer they held off talking to him about it, the more confused he'd be, and the last thing they wanted was for him to blurt out a question like that to Ken.

"Any more of that coffee?"

Jinpei obligingly filled the mug with the coffeepot he was holding. The boy was prepared for a long discourse. Ryu downed another half a mug of the steaming brew before he felt ready to speak again.

"Jinpei, do you know what rape is?"

He flushed slightly, but nodded. "It's--it's when one person forces another to have sex. I--I understand that--that Aniki no Ken was--was raped. I understand--that Katse wanted to--to break his spirit, and that it--it was--that Aniki no Ken saw it as torture. But... why? Why--why would those--Galactors want to have sex with him?"

Ryu took a deep breath before continuing, "Rape is not motivated by--by the desire to have sex with someone because of attraction."

"But--"

"Let me finish. You're confused because--they--er--Jinpei, those--Galactors didn't force themselves on Ken because--because they thought he was attractive. Katse ordered the rape to humiliate and hurt him."

"But if they're not attracted--"

"You weren't listening, Jinpei. Rape is not motivated by attraction or sexual desire. The Galactors were jumping at a chance to--humiliate Ken. Instead of trembling in fear before the great Gatchaman or waiting to die at his hands, they had the White Shadow helpless, unable to fight them off or even see his attackers."

"They were given a chance to hurt him and--and to abuse him physically, with the safe knowledge that he couldn't free himself to take revenge."

"Then--then why rape? They could have tortured him with--with the standard methods."

"Don't you see how much more traumatic it has been for all of us, Jinpei?"

"Oh."

"We're all--Ken felt that he had braced himself to be tortured. Instead, the Galactors overpowered him through sheer numbers and used restraints and drugs to take total control away from him. He came away with feelings of shame, humiliation, helplessness, and anger. It--wouldn't have been the same if--if he had just been tortured."

Ryu looked very tired as he finished the rest of the coffee. "This is all just Katse's game of control and power over his most feared enemy. Do you understand now?"

"Will--will Katse do the same to us?"

Ryu closed his eyes for a moment before he could bring himself to answer the question. "I shouldn't lie to you, Jinpei. It--it is a possibility."

"With all of us?"

"Jinpei, don't think of it as anything special. We've *always* been in that kind of danger. It's just--it's just never been so prominent before. Don't dwell on it, or you'll worry yourself to death. Don't show anyone that it worries you, Jinpei, or the Galactors will use it against us. And Ken--? We have to stop--reminding him of--the attack if he has any hope to heal."

"Will Aniki no Ken be okay?"

"He has to be, Jinpei. He is Gatchaman, he won't let the Galactors win."

Jinpei nodded as he looked down at the now empty coffeepot in his hands.

"He told you it wasn't your fault."

"I--I still feel some measure of responsibility."

"Your looking guilty will remind him. You need to be sober when Aniki no Ken needs us."

Ryu's eyes widened at him in consternation.

"Will you leave off the booze?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"Come on, Ryu. It's way past my bedtime and you shouldn't be sleeping on the sofa." Jinpei left the coffeepot on the table and pulled him to his feet. "I'm not about to leave you out here before I go back to my room."

"Let's get you to bed then, Swallow." Ryu let Jinpei drag him up and they staggered out of the family room towards their bedrooms.

*~*~*~*~*

Red Impulse watched silently as Ken continued to stare out to sea. He knew that the issues he was turning over in his mind were far from resolution. They had mostly dealt with the guilt, but there was still the fear and the flashbacks. Kentaro could tell whenever those memories stabbed through him. There was always a slight shiver which ran through his frame.

"Ken?"

"You're still here?"

"Could say the same for you. Will you trust me?"

"What is it this time?"

"Let me do something for you."

Ken could not stop his involuntary step back as Red Impulse approached.

Kentaro's face went black. "I am not gay!"

"Sexual orientation has little bearing on rape. Or would you have me believe that Katse managed to staff the entire base with gay soldiers."

"I am not going to assault you!!"

"I know that! I trust you. I'm just--just--"

"Jumpy?" Kentaro felt the heat of his anger drain away. "You've had your freedom taken away from you and you were rendered helpless in the enemy's hands. You realize that--"

"--it will happen again? Of course."

"We--you need to know that you can deal with it. That Gatchaman won't break, if--if the Galactors ever have you--"

"What do you suggest?"

Red Impulse drew out a set of handcuffs from his pocket. Gatchaman did not even twitch when he saw the restraints.

"It'll be a cake walk for you to slip out of these at any time." Kentaro dangled them in front of him. "The point is to confront your fear of loss of control. You're with people you trust now, and you're not in any danger."

Gatchaman's expression was unreadable as he stared at the handcuffs for a moment.

"You can tell me to stop anytime. We can--use a safe word if you want. Say it and I'll release you."

"'Father.'"

"Excuse me?" Red Impulse almost dropped the handcuffs in shock.

"Did you wonder why I chose to come to this beach instead of walking the one on Crescent Coral where it's safer?"

"It... did come to mind."

"My father used to bring me here, before he disappeared. They were the happiest and probably the most secure days of my life. I came here to try and recapture that." Ken looked far away, but his expression quickly changed to pain as another memory intruded.

"Oh. Okay, we'll--we'll use 'father.'" Kentaro handed him the handcuffs to examine.

He watched silently as Ken played with the handcuffs for a moment, locking and unlocking them before he handed them back and offered his wrists to him.

"Not yet. Deactivate your bird style first."

Ken frowned at him. Kentaro knew he did not like the suggestion.

"I heard that Nambu improved your bird styles. You can't allow yourself to use your bird style as a crutch. You're more vulnerable in your civvies."

Kentaro winced inwardly as Ken's eyes glazed over and his face went white. The memories were getting intrusive. Gatchaman couldn't afford that kind of distraction.

"O--okay." Ken deactivated his bird style and offered his wrists to Red Impulse again.

Kentaro was pleased to note that though he was tensed, Ken didn't tremble when the cuffs locked into place.

*~*~*~*~*

Nambu glanced at the clock as he got off the secure line with the guard. It was 2:14 a.m. Ken had been off Crescent Coral for over three hours. At least knowing where he was and knowing that there were about ten or so guards following him helped eased the doctor's worry.

Nambu took off his glasses and rubbed the skin between his eyes to ease the ache that was starting. The report had amused him, in a way. He knew Ken was probably fully aware of his guards and if he had really wanted to slip away from them, there was no force on earth which could have prevented him from disappearing.

He winced slightly as he wondered what Ken had felt about the numbers that were sent after him. The others had told him about Ken's reaction to their protectiveness. Nambu could not halt the feeling of guilt at his own overreaction for Ken's safety. But it worried him even more to find out from the guards that Ken did not even attempt to evade them.

He glanced at the ragged looking folder on his desk. The blackened lines and paragraphs on the report within, still troubled him. Nambu racked his memory trying to remember the conversation he had with Ken during detox. He really couldn't recall anything which might have been disturbing enough to cause Ken to censor it for the debriefing papers.

Rape.

He had talked about it with his kids before. Excluding Jinpei's presence due to his age, they had discussed it to death in all its technically. But it had never *really* sunk in that the danger was real. To have that violence actually perpetrated on one of his children...

It was killing him to read the report. Nambu wasn't sure when he'd be able to get it ready for filing. It pained him to recall himself stopping Ken from destroying the report. The crushing anguish, which he had seen in Ken's eyes, would haunt him for a long time.

The doctor sighed as he thought over the verbal report from the guard. He was glad that Kentaro didn't shirk from his responsibility and did go to speak with Ken. From his long distance surveillance, the guard sounded optimistic that some sort of resolution had been reached. What it was though, Nambu wouldn't know until he talked to either Ken or Kentaro and he wondered now how much either would let him know.

They also needed to resolve that other issue soon. Nambu had to wonder how much cowardice motivated Kentaro to remain apart from his son. The man could face any terror or danger with that infuriating grin and a laugh which could send chills down the spine of lesser men. But he still carried on the deception with his son far beyond necessity. Something had to be done soon before Ken found out on his own and before the relationship between the two was irreparably destroyed.

He frowned as he thought about what the guard told him of their current activities. The guards concurred that the Red Impulse Captain handed Gatchaman a pair of handcuffs. Nambu had almost choked at the news. He had no doubt what Kentaro was going to try.

In his mind, Nambu was cursing Kentaro for all kinds of fools. It was too soon after the assault. Ken had been a prisoner for over two days. Barely a day and a half had passed since he rejoined them. The assault would be too fresh in his mind to try something that extreme. But how was he to send his warning to the man?

The ring of the telephone broke through his reverie. Nambu picked it up, only to jerk it away from his ear quite violently.

_"NAMBU! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING AT YOUR DESK AT THIS TIME OF THE NIGHT?!"_

Nambu switched hands to hold the telephone to his other ear as he futilely massaged his ringing ear.

"With all due respect, Chief Anderson, if you weren't expecting me at my desk, why did you call?"

_"I was checking on you, what else? Go home! Go to bed! Exhausting yourself isn't going to help the situation."_

"Ken left Crescent Coral earlier this evening."

_"Did you have guards tailing him?"_

"Yes."

_"Did he try to evade the guards?"_

"No."

_"Are the guards still with him?"_

"Yes."

_"Then stop mothering the boy and go to bed. The guards will call you if anything untoward should occur."_

"But--"

_"Kozaburo, being overly concerned *isn't* going to help Gatchaman regain his confidence in his own abilities."_ Anderson told him gently. _"If you try to baby him, you'll get one of two reactions: He'll either resent the coddling and feel himself pushed into doing something reckless, or he'll lose faith in himself and collapse under the strain._

_"We're all worried about Ken, Kozaburo. But you're not going to be able to help him if you exhaust yourself."_

"Yes sir."

_"Give my regards to the team, Kozaburo. And *go to bed* or I shall be sorely vexed with you, young man."_

Nambu stifled a snort at his words. Nevertheless, he did switch off his desk lamp to leave his office. He paused at the door to consider his earlier thoughts before Anderson called him.

Nambu reluctantly admitted that there was nothing he could do to stop Kentaro from his course. He could only hope that Ken was going to be as strong as Kentaro was pushing him to be.

*~*~*~*~*

They had played with the handcuffs for a while. It was a methodical placement, and removal of the cuffs. They'd leave the handcuffs on for increasing periods of time before Ken slipped them off again. Eventually, Ken let the Red Impulse Captain take them off rather than freeing himself.

Once Kentaro felt that the edginess was dissipating, he moved to something new.

"Put your hands behind you."

There was a slight hesitation, but Ken complied. The rigidity in his spine returned as Kentaro stayed behind him where he couldn't be seen.

> _"Hold him down!"_

"Are you still okay?" The cuffs were secured again.

> _"Don't try that! You gotta watch his knees, bub."_
> 
> _"S' safer ta let the others hold his legs over one shoulder."_

"Yes." Ken's lips trembled slightly, he couldn't see or tell what Kentaro was doing behind him without turning around. But that was the whole point, that new element of uncertainty. He stayed staring steadfastly ahead.

> _"Hey sarge? Y' t'ink we can have 'im for a punk when the boss is done wit' 'im?"_
> 
> _"Enjoy him while you can, boys. There won't be much left once Katse-sama is through."_

Again, he concentrated on staying calm. The handcuffs came off and on again. Eventually, he let Red Impulse leave them on until he released them.

"Are you ready for the next part?" Kentaro asked as he secured the cuffs again.

"What is it?"

Something danced on the periphery of his vision and a black cloth covered his eyes.

Kentaro cried in fright as the figure before him changed into bird style in a pyrotechnic flare. The handcuffs were destroyed and a leg shot out to sweep his feet from under him.

Instinct bred of battle made Kentaro reach out to grab his assailant by the shoulder and turn his fall into an attack of his own as he bore the lighter figure down. Instinct made him carry on his attack and use his own body to pin the white winged figure to the ground. Recognition and the import of his assault came slightly too late.

Kentaro regained enough sense to assist Ken's throw and fling himself away from him. "Ken! It's okay! It's me! It's okay! It's your--it's Red Impulse! You're not under attack! It's--"

Ken twisted away to land in a crouched position with his white wings covering his entire body. His breathing was shallow and came in short bursts. He refused to look up at Kentaro.

Kentaro felt guilt crush him as he considered the trembling figure before him. [Stupid. You stupid idiot! You're pushing him too fast. He's not ready for this.]

"'Father.'"

"What?"

"I--I forgot to use the safe word, 'father.'"

Kentaro turned to glance at the blindfold which now lay between them. He looked again at the shuddering figure and cursed himself for his own cruelty. Nambu had told him about the blindfold. He shouldn't have been asinine enough to use it so soon.

"K--Ken, I--I'm sorry. I should have told you what--"

"Don't! Damn it, don't *you* start apologizing to me too!" Ken came to his feet again, and his eyes were afire with rage. "Stop *coddling* me! I've had enough of it from Nambu and the team, I don't want it from you!"

"It's too soon after--"

"Do you think the Galactors will care?! I lost it. I lashed out at you and changed into bird style without even thinking of it. If I can't handle restraints when I'm in the company of someone I trust, how will I react when the manacles are real and I'm a prisoner again?"

Ken deactivated his bird style and offered his wrists to Kentaro. "Again."

"No!"

"Again! I can't let it impair my judgement. Start again."

"I--don't have any more handcuffs."

"Then use my belt." Ken pulled it loose and offered it to Kentaro.

"No! Ken, stop this. You're distraught! You're pushing yourself needlessly."

"I can't let this go on!" Tears started flowing down his face. "I'm scared, damn it! I'm so f$%king scared! And I *can't* afford it! I can't let the fear make me overreact and that's what it's doing! I'm so afraid, I can't think or act properly. I'll be a danger to the team if I freeze up! And what if I run?! I can't do that! Gatchaman is broken if this goes on."

"And some wounds take time to heal!" Kentaro pushed the belt away from him and gripped Ken about his arms, "Pick at a scab before it heals and you start it bleeding again. You can't use this kind of shock therapy on yourself! If you ride yourself too hard, you'll break yourself!"

"We *haven't got* the luxury of time."

"I won't torture you! You can't ask me to do this to you now, Ken. You need patience with this. You can't teach a person how to swim by throwing them into the deep end of the pool."

Ken snorted at this statement as he turned to look away. "Funny of you to say that. If I recall correctly, that's exactly how my father taught me how to swim."

With his eyes turned away, Ken missed seeing the flush which colored Kentaro's cheeks at the reminder.

"A--and you probably swallowed about a gallon of water first before you got a hang of it. It only works for some, but others need more time. You can't treat this sort of trauma the same way. This--this is--Ken, we've accomplished enough for one night. Go back home and get some rest."

Ken sucked in a deep breath and released it again without a shudder running through his frame. Kentaro released Ken's arms guiltily, his eyes widened in alarm at the purple-black bruises his fingers had left on his son's skin.

"Sorry about that."

"No one will notice it on top of the other bruises." Ken shook his head as he passed his belt back through the loops of his white jeans.

"I'm sor--"

"*Don't* apologize to me. I'm sick of hearing it." He reactivated the bird style and turned away to stare out to sea again.

"It's late. Y--I--I'm going to head back to Crescent Coral. Do you need a lift?"

"No. I'll be okay."

Kentaro didn't believe him at all. The rigid stance was back, as was the tightness in the fold of his arms. At this point, Kentaro knew he could not leave him in clear conscience.

"I--could stay so we--could carry on talking?"

Kentaro gaped to see the Eagle pull himself into an even tighter stance.

"Ken?"

> _"So what's the good word, Doc?"_
> 
> _"Can our punk take it?"_
> 
> _"Carry on. Just remember, nothing too rough."_
> 
> _"Yeah, the boss is missing out on this. But he gets first dibs on the rest."_

"Ken!"

Ken winced and jerked out of range of the reaching hand. "Just--just go. Leave me alone."

Kentaro gritted his teeth to see the almost defeated slump to the proud shoulders. It was killing him to look at his son now. Ken was wound up tighter than a spring and if there wasn't some way to diffuse that tension soon... He wished and prayed to all the gods he could think of for some inspiration of how he could help. Looking at him now... All he could think of was how much he wanted to protect him, gather his son in his arms and shelter him from dangers that might raise their heads--

A thought danced in Kentaro's head. It seemed improbable and quite out of character for the image he had cultivated, but he *was* getting desperate.

"Ken, will you let me do something for you?"

"Why are you still here?! I thought you said we've accomplished enough for one night?"

"For Gatchaman, maybe. But how about Ken Washio?" Kentaro pressed on before he lost his nerve. "You--you mentioned this beach having significance because of your father."

"What about it?"

"What did you miss most about him?"

"You're getting per--"

"I've seen the airfield." Kentaro felt a slight pang within him for the loss. "You lost everything, didn't you? Everything of your father's."

Ken did not answer him.

"Look--this is--this is unusual for me to say... but--I think I've been around long enough to know what you need right now."

"And what would that be?"

"You look like--a boy who is in need of a hug."

Kentaro chewed on his lower lip as he saw the shiver which ran through his frame.

"I *can't* afford weak--"

"What 'weakness' is it to accept comfort offered by someone who cares about you?" Kentaro started to move forward slowly, careful to make enough noise so that Ken would hear his approach. "It's not pity, condescension, or sympathy. I'm just asking you to drop the mask of Gatchaman. You're with someone you can trust, you don't have to hide behind it. You *can't* hide behind it forever."

Kentaro stopped when he was within arms length of the figure. "No obligations and nothing sexual, please."

A barely withheld snort of amusement escaped from the white winged figure.

"Just a simple hug, Ken."

Kentaro could feel his heart in his mouth as Ken turned to face him, his expression unreadable. He could almost feel the refusal in the stance. Kentaro held out his arms in invitation.

"It's a one time offer, so you better take advantage of it before I come to my senses. I'll never live it down if word ever got out that Red Impulse can be a old softy."

Ken couldn't hold back the slight grin.

Kentaro did not attempt to move as he watched Ken steel himself to take a hesitant step towards him.

"Just don't take my head and shoulders off with the beak, 'kay?"

This time a smile broke on his face and Ken entered the encirclement of Kentaro's arms.

Not wanting to scare him away, Kentaro was careful to move forward almost imperceptibly to meet him. Allowing Ken to encircle his waist with his right arm and lean his head sideward on his chest and shoulder, he sensed more than felt Ken's left hand reach up to grip the fabric of his right sleeve.

Moving slowly and non-threateningly, Kentaro closed the encirclement of his arms to wrap his son into a hug. He moderated the increasing pressure of his grip in response to the involuntary shudders and brief shifting to get into a comfortable position.

Kentaro leaned his chin on the top of Ken's helmet. He finally felt the contentment of fourteen missed years. He felt Ken tremble at one point during his tightening embrace, but it eased as they got used to each other's closeness. Guilt flash across Kentaro's thoughts over whether he had selfishly wished for this moment for himself, or for his son. But he beat it down again as he lost himself in the warmth of his son's almost clinging embrace.

"You--wear the same cologne."

It took all of Kentaro's control to stop himself from stiffening at the observation. But he managed to laugh it off.

"Your father must have the same great taste."

Ken's left hand curled and tightened on the red fabric.

"M--mother bought it for him." Ken started to laugh softly. Kentaro could feel the laugh gradually changing to sobs as the flood of tears began to pour out. One hand began to stroke Ken's back comfortingly in a gentle repetitive motion.

"Let it all out Ken." Kentaro murmured softly. "It'll feel better."

"Cat--cath--cathartic--release?" Ken managed to choke out between hiccups.

"Piss off, Gatchaman, and return the kid. You analyze everything too damn much."

Ken chortled in momentary laughter and his crying continued unabated.

They remained in that position for a long time as Kentaro allowed his son to cry out all his tension and fears. Kentaro's left hand continued its gentle motion of stroking Ken's back all the while. He unconsciously began humming a tune as he listened to the sobbing.

Eventually, the flood of tears subsided. Kentaro was reluctant to relinquish that position though he knew that it had to end soon. Until then, he was content to remain in that position for as long as Ken would let him.

"His hugs."

"Pardon?" Kentaro stopped his humming.

"When I was a kid, I missed having him hug me when I was scared."

"You mean on stormy nights when the thunder and lightening sounded too close to the house?"

"I wonder if he misses it too?"

Kentaro felt his mouth go dry. "I--thought he's supposed to be dead."

"Never believed it."

They fell silent again.

Kentaro could feel the marked difference in the warm body he was holding so close to him. Most of the tension had finally eased and Ken was actually relaxed in his embrace. He breathed a sigh of relief and hoped that the worst was over for now. And that the process of healing would be able to continue unabated.

Only... once he released Ken from the hug, he could no longer hope to experience a similar encounter again. Not unless he told Ken the truth and even then, Kentaro didn't know how well his son would take the news of his father's deception.

"Red Impulse?"

Ken's words shook Kentaro from his reverie. They had to return to the real world. As much as he wanted to, Kentaro couldn't reveal the truth now. In his son's current fragile state it could be disastrous. He didn't know if he could ever work up the courage later to tell the truth, but for now he couldn't say anything either.

"Red Impulse, I--"

"Breathe a word of this to *anyone* and I will kick your butt." Kentaro rumbled though he didn't ease his embrace. "It'll ruin my reputation if word got out that I can have a soft side."

Ken chuckled. "What are you going to do about my twelve guards?"

"Nambu's a paranoid panty waist. Remind me to threaten them when we get back to base... Wait a minute! Twelve? I thought there were only ten!"

"They do say the eyes are the first to go, old timer."

Kentaro could hear the grin behind the words.

"I still think you're a young punk." Kentaro bit his tongue when he felt the tension return to the lithe figure and he belatedly recalled the word's other slang reference. [Stupid! Now you've undone everything you accomplished. You stupid idiot!]

Thankfully, the tension did not stay.

"Well... I *know* you're an old rat bastard."

"*Old*, is it?"

"Would you prefer geriatric?" Ken pulled away to look up at him with a grin.

Kentaro chuckled as he released his grip. He even felt bold enough to drape a friendly arm over the younger man's shoulders as he turned their feet towards the docks.

"Let's go home, *kid*. This old man needs his rest."

At the faint chime, Kentaro felt the muscles under his hand grow taut.

[No. No, you fucking assholes can't do this to him now!]

"Bird scramble." The mask slipped back into place. "Captain, can you see to it that the boat I commandeered be returned? I'll have the God Phoenix pick me up here."

Kentaro's hand tightened on his shoulder, but Gatchaman only brushed him off.

"Ken wai--"

"No. They've thrown the gauntlet. Gatchaman can't let it lie."


	4. From the Ashes

The Kagaku Ninjatai sat in tensed silence in the cockpit of the God Phoenix as Dr. Nambu started the briefing.

"We've suspected Galactor activity around this region for some time now." The doctor was explaining as he showed them the charts on the monitors. "And now our agents have eyewitness verification of Galactor presence on this island."

"What a coincidence," Joe muttered sourly, sotto voce.

Jun shot him a look and quickly looked back towards the front of the ship, but Ken gave no indication that he heard the comment as he lounged in his command chair with his eyes closed as if in sleep. They all knew he hadn't slept that night. But, despite appearances, he wasn't napping at present either. It startled them slightly to hear him speak for the first time since he took his seat.

"What do we have there that might be of interest to the Galactors, Hakase?"

"Saltpeter."

"Sodium nitrate?" That got Jun attention. "But I thought the only remaining natural deposits were in Chile?"

"As the UN would have most believe, since these islands are protected ecological grounds. But there appears to be mining activity taking place there now."

"That would destroy the natural wildlife of the island. What's so important about Sodium nitrate that the Galactors would mine it anyway? I thought it's just a fertilizer."

"It's also used for solid rocket propellants, Jinpei."

Nambu nodded to Jun's explanation. "We suspect that the Galactors are building a missile production facility on the island in conjunction with the mining."

"The Galactors have already caused enough disturbances in the ecology of the island." Ken looked up at the monitor. "We can't engage them directly. This is a stealth mission. We enter, shut down operations and demolish the base. What status is the base completion, Hakase?"

"Our agents indicate operations are at seventy percent of capacity."

"So there will still be incomplete sections. We have our entry points."

Nambu swallowed nervously. "Y--you know what to do. Good hunting, team."

Ken stood up to turn towards his team as Nambu's image blinked off.

"Jun, pull up the maps of the area. We need a hiding place for the God Phoenix. Ryu, ready her for lock down. Joe, Jinpei, equipment check, we need scuba gear for a sea approach. Jun, when you're finished with the maps, you need to arm us with explosives that will do the least harm to the natural environment."

"Hai!" Their response was automatic.

*~*~*~*~*

Ken frowned at his team as he got ready to pull on his dive mask and breather. They had stayed unusually quiet through the preparation.

"Out with it. What's the problem?"

"Ken, a--are you sure you've--recovered sufficiently?" Joe blurted out at Jun's encouraging poke.

"I sat through detox at least three times and I had no physical injuries. I'm fine." His eyes were hard, as if daring them to refute his claim.

"Of course." Joe pulled on his dive mask to hide his flush of uncertainty.

They quickly joined him on the platform that would bring them out to the bubble portal topside.

The swim to the beach proceeded without incident and they were back in bird style by the time they reached the tree line. All was quiet as they flitted through the natural undergrowth. There were a few guards and surveillance cameras scattered around the area, but nothing that created any great difficulty in avoiding.

"Ken?" Joe reached out to grip his commander by the shoulder. "This whole setup reeks of a trap."

"Don't we know it?" Ken looked back to nod at him. "It's not like Galactor to be this careless."

"Ken... you--you realize that Katse's trying--"

"What of it?" Gatchaman turned his attention back to the base. "Be on the alert, the Galactors must know that we're out here."

"But we're protected from gas attacks now. The Galactors can't drop us in our tracks."

"Don't be too sure, Jinpei."

Ken's eyes narrowed as he studied the milling Galactors. "We're not using this entrance. Like you said, Joe, this reeks of a trap. They'll expect us to enter through here."

"So we use the front door?" Jun couldn't hold back her gulp. "But--but we'll have to leave bird style to--"

"It's not like we haven't done it before, Jun." Ken turned away from the base and started herding them back into the undergrowth.

Once they were a safe distance away, the commander of the Kagaku Ninjatai confronted his team.

"What is wrong with you? We've done this countless times and suddenly you're all jumpier than a cat on a hot tin roof."

"Ken, are you sure you're rea--"

Gatchaman sucked in a deep breath and let it out again slowly. "Ready for what? We have always been exposed to that threat. That Galactor managed to carry it out once doesn't increase or decrease the probability of the event occurring."

His voice turned cold as he looked each of them in the eye. "Do you want to turn back?"

Joe snapped his head back up at the suggestion. "No! We can't do that!"

"Then *we* go in." Gatchaman's tone brooked no argument.

*~*~*~*~*

Nothing untoward came to pass when Kagaku Ninjatai entered the base dressed in stolen Galactor uniforms. They would be lying, however, if they did not admit feeling a slight prickle of anxiety to be out of bird style.

The Kagaku Ninjatai were observing their leader apprehensively. From all appearances, Gatchaman was still in control. He moved with professional grace and ease born of confidence in his ability. But every so often, Ken would pause and they could tell that he was trying to arrest the tremble in his lithe frame.

"Ken?"

"We split up, you have your assigned targets. Rendezvous outside in 25 minutes."

"Ken?" This time Joe caught his shoulder.

"What is it?"

"I-- Just be--careful."

Gatchaman grinned at his chief gunner. "Never."

It felt too easy to return his grin. But the smiles were all too quickly lost when two panels slammed down the corridors to trap them and a red mist started seeping into the enclosed space.

"Closed systems! Bird Go!"

The Galactor uniforms disintegrated as their bird styles flared into existence.

Ryu tapped on the full-faced visor experimentally, it certainly felt strange to not be able to feel the edge of a beak.

"Is your mask working okay?" Ken waved the red mist from his vision to look towards him.

"Yeah, it just takes some getting use to." Ryu shrugged. "Don't want to have it on too long though, can't eat with it."

They coughed back a laugh and turned their attention back to the serious business of freeing themselves.

"Onechan, it's stuffy." Jinpei touched his visor in distress. "I can see my breath fogging it."

"Hush. I can use one of my specials, Ken."

"Go to it. Not down the corridor. The Galactors know we're in so let's blaze our own trail."

Joe watched Ken carefully through the red mists that swirled around them. He could see a bead of perspiration on his face. Though the full visor was a touch stuffy, it wasn't sufficiently warm to cause any of them to break sweat. As he watched, Joe puzzled over why Ken was reaching into his utility pouch.

So intent was Joe in watching his commander that he almost missed the movement above them. Something shot out of the ceiling towards them. Grapplers!

"Down!" Ken was already moving before the steel claws even came close, his right arm having made a throwing motion before he rolled away from the grapplers' target site.

The astro-bombs struck the steel appendages and mini explosions ranted the air as the claws were severed.

"Jun, set the charge. We're loosing visual capacity with all this gas," Ken murmured tightly as he watched the grapplers spasm at his feet. The severed ends of the steel tentacles sparked and spluttered as the red gas made contact with it.

"Okay, it's ready. I've set it to blow out. Shield yourselves, the gas hasn't reached saturation point enough to ignite but it'll still spark."

As promised the charge blew out the wall but it only led to an adjoining room, which was also filled with the red gas. Jun wordlessly began prepping another charge.

Joe watched his commander intently. Even through the blue color of his visor he could tell that Ken had turned a shade paler.

"Ken? How did you know there were going to be grapplers?"

"I--It's what they used the last time. I--remembered I--felt something grab me just before I lost consciousness."

Joe was slammed back by the revelation. Ryu had mentioned a red knockout gas, which the Galactors had used on them. They had just performed a sea approach and in combination with the grapplers, it was suddenly clear to him that the Galactors were determined to try and unnerve Gatchaman. Ken had closed his eyes and his breathing was slightly sharper.

"This whole setup reeks, Ken. They're out to get you." Joe strode to him and caught his arm in his grip, startling Ken with his proximity. "This is one big trap!"

"We knew that before we ventured in. It still needs investigation."

"Ken... maybe--"

"Stop trying to coddle me, Asakura."

"Ken, we just--" Ryu reached out to try and touch his arm.

"You're not helping. Keep your mind on the mission." Ken avoided Ryu's hand and pulled his arm free of Joe's grip.

"Aniki no Ke--"

"I'm fine!" Ken confronted them. "Look, don't think I'm ungrateful for your concern, but it's misplaced. You're allowing it to affect our work. Jun, is that charge done?"

She started guiltily, having stopped a moment to listen to them. "I'm--I'm on it."

So engrossed were they that no one noticed the telltale sparking under the billowing clouds of gas.

Without any further warning, the severed steel tentacles had shot out to encircle each of the ninjas. A surge of electricity ran through the appendages before any of them could react to the attack.

*~*~*~*~*

Ken groaned as he slowly swam back into consciousness. He had no idea how long he had been out, or where he was this time. His nerves still tingled from his near electrocution.

He kept enough sense in him not to move or display any indication that he was now conscious. Instead, Ken slowly eased himself back into awareness of his surroundings. A growing fear pounded in him as his senses started to feed information of his physical state to him.

The room was too dark for him to see anything. He was secured to the metal floor. His arms once more drawn over his head, while his ankles were secured to another restraining bolt. Terror gripped him in its icy embrace. The situation mirrored his captivity of two days ago. The nightmares crushed down upon him.

> _"He's a tight one."_

His skin crawled as phantom hands slid down his chest and intimately tried to tease his nipples through his uniform.

> _"Enjoy him while you can, boys. There won't be much left once Katse-sama is through."_

He relived the feel of fingers entangled in his long hair as his assailant gripped his head.

> _"Carry on."_

He remembered the pain as he was stretched during some entries.

> _"Come on mate, give the rest of us a chance t' have another go."_

Phantom hands touched and teased him, trying to bring him off as he choked in the grip of another man.

> _"Startin' t' relax, ain't he?"_

[NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!]

Ken barely held back his scream of terror. No! He had refused to give the Galactors the satisfaction of hearing him cry then. He wasn't going to give it to them now.

He concentrated on breathing evenly, keeping it steady, gentle. Certain facts started to filter through the fog that terror had cast in his mind.

He still had his helmet, it was still in closed systems mode, and his belt was still around his waist. The restraints had him stretched out and allowed him almost no play with the chains. The manacles were certainly of a better quality, but not impossible to escape from. He wasn't blindfolded, but the room was pitch black.

He was alone. The rest of the team didn't appear to be in the same room. A small blue light was the only thing to relieve the pitch-black room, probably a camera.

"Infrared vision," He whispered and waited for his visor to adjust.

By pretending to turn his head as if he was in the throes of a nightmare, Ken allowed himself a sweep of the room. He was truly alone with a small camera that moved slowly to capture the room in a steady sweep.

He was alone and he was waiting for the slide of the door to signify the entry of the soldiers.

*~*~*~*~*

There were many things Condor Joe enjoyed waking up to. The smell of freshly brewed coffee with breakfast on the stove... the sweet-salty air of the beach at Crescent Coral after a night of sleeping under the stars on a whim... a kiss and the warm embrace of a lover...

The hated visage of Berg Katse was not anywhere on that list. This awakening had a better placement on his 'the worst' list.

"Finally glad to have you join us, Condor. And here I was thinking you had as weak a constitution as the Eagle."

Joe turned away from Katse's gloating visage to find the others similarly secured to the wall with wrist cuffs and leg manacles. He looked at each of them, pleased to see defiance shine in their eyes more than the fear he knew they must feel as well.

"Where's Gatchaman?"

"Your commander is not a well child, is he? Or did we really tax him beyond endurance when he was last our guest?" Katse twirled a familiar boomerang in his hand teasingly.

Joe wished he could rip the Cheshire grin off the Galactor leader's face. "Where is he?"

Katse's grin grew wider as he directed their attention to a darkened screen.

"Change to infrared filters."

The team gasped at the scene. The white winged figure lay rigid across the floor, secured by restraints at wrists and ankles.

"You--you son of a bitch! You recreated--"

"Even unconscious, we could tell he remembers." Katse chuckled. "Do you care to wager that Gatchaman is still unconscious, or if he is immobilized with terror, just waiting for the cell to fill with our soldiers? And do not think I have not arranged for soldiers to walk pass the entrance of his cell at random intervals."

"Fuck you, Katse. If we were free--"

"But you aren't, and my, what an interesting proposal."

They stiffened in their restraints.

"I was certainly bitterly disappointed to lose the original recording. But now we have this new delicious opportunity."

Ryu's voice was hoarse with rage as he strained against the chains. "Don't you touch him."

"And what can *you* do about it?" Katse laughed at their helplessness as he switched off the monitor to focus their attention back on him. "We have some interesting plans for your Eagle. However, I see that the ISO have made improvements to your uniforms, in response to--your commander's experience, I suppose. We were *so* disappointed when we realized we couldn't remove either helmet or belt this time. But perhaps you could show us how."

"Sod off."

Katse only grinned. "You really give me such interesting proposals."

A group of grinning soldiers wheeled in a large, covered contraption.

"I do confess that I should apologize to your commander for his extreme discomfort and inconvenience on his last stay with us. But, I had not given much thought to the idea then." Katse studied them carefully as he glided over to the covered apparatus. "I'm sure he would approve of *this* design."

The Kagaku Ninjatai couldn't stop their cries of horror and outrage when Katse pulled the covers off. The contraption he revealed was straight out of a sadomasochist's dream.

Joe tore his eyes away from it to look at Katse with eyes full of hate and disgust. "You sick bastard, you can't do this to him."

"Oh, but I can and I will, Condor." Katse slid closer to him and let his hand glide over Joe's chest. "But it hasn't been tested yet. I don't suppose *you'd* like to have first go."

Joe tried not to react, but he could feel the terror build within him. And from the curl on Katse's lips, he knew that the Galactor commander could see that fear.

"We might even go live." Katse's smile broadened as he waved his hand towards a soldier who was setting up a camera.

"You degenerate beast! Why are you doing this?" Jun yelled at him, mercifully taking his attention from Joe and giving him enough time to get his thoughts back under control.

"Because you *children* have humiliated me enough times that I have the greatest desire to return the favor." Katse swung towards her angrily. "Because it would crush the morale of the UN to see their oh-so-special-elite strike force of children broken by a torture so infrequently used on their own soldiers."

He walked up to her to grip the chin guard of her helmet in his hand. "Because I can."

Jun just bared her teeth at him in a snarl of defiance.

"Do you want to volunteer to test our prototype, Swan? Or should we try it on the Swallow?"

"NO!"

Jinpei shrunk back and started to whimper. Katse had them all in the grip of fear and there was nothing they could do about it.

"Leave them out of it!" Joe yelled bringing Katse's attention back to him. "I volunteer."

"No, don't listen to him, Katse." Jun called to him. "Your men would be more interested in me."

"Katse! Don't you touch *any* of them!" Ryu threw his full weight on his restraints to no avail.

"Leave us alone!"

This sudden change from fear to hostility almost threw Katse off. He retreated to the contraption to gather his thoughts and play with the pivot. Around him, the soldiers were licking their lips and waiting for his decision with eagerness that was almost palpable.

"Decisions, decisions."

"Leave the Swallow be, Katse. You hate me almost as much as you hate the Eagle." Joe told him evenly. "You've had him. It's my turn."

"Your men would prefer to have a woman, Katse." Jun locked her unwavering gaze at the Galactor leader. "I doubt there is even one man here who would prefer a willing man over a willing woman."

"And are you *that* willing, Swan Jun?" Katse looked up at her in surprise.

"Try me."

"Jun, don't!"

"Try me," She told him steadily.

"And will you dance for us then? Remove your uniform and entertain us?"

"JUN, DON'T DO IT!"

"Yes."

"Done." Katse released her restraints.

Jun landed on the floor and almost stumbled as her numbed limbs tried to support her.

"DON'T TOUCH MY SISTER!"

"Jun." Joe's voice trembled as horror overtook him.

She straightened and looked back at each of them. Her stance was determined. Joe's eyes caught hers and he tried to pour all his sorrow and regret in them. She had offered him a gift, and he refused it. There would never be another opportunity. She was willing to give it up to save his sanity, but this was infinitely worse.

"Katse, don't listen to her. *You* want me."

"Such entertainment, you fight among yourself for the honors?" Berg Katse was almost beside himself with mirth. "However, I don't believe we would be as entertained to see *you* dance, Condor. Begin the transmission!"

*~*~*~*~*

Nambu spilled his coffee over his table when his television leaped to life with the Galactor transmission.

"Greetings citizens. This morning we have a special treat in store for you. A live telecast."

[No! Please God, NO!]

*~*~*~*~*

Anderson was on his feet and his arms trembled as he rested the palm of his hands on his desk.

*~*~*~*~*

Red Impulse sank into his chair as Masaki surreptitiously removed all possible projectile objects from around him. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the monstrosity which stood behind the pale Swan.

*~*~*~*~*

"We have for your entertainment the lovely Swan, who shall be beta testing something for us. I ask you now to sit back and enjoy. Maestro, some music if you please."

Jun could hear Jinpei cursing and crying behind her, but she refused to look back at any of her teammates. As a low whistling tune started softly, she steeled herself to move. But her hands stopped short of reaching for her belt as recognition sank in.

Katse, who had been frowning at the less than orchestral performance, suddenly swung around him, his face paling in shock. Such was the violence of his movement that he dropped the remote control and the item bounced unheeded to land almost at the feet of the Swan.

The haunting melody was familiar and unmistakable. It was frighteningly familiar to the Galactors.

"Gatchaman?"

"He's loose?"

"We broke him. We must have."

The Galactor soldiers unconsciously bunched together with growing fear.

"Where is he?"

The haunting tune came to a close and an eerie laugh echoed in the vast chamber.

"You thought you could break me, Berg Katse? The white shadow which slips in unseen? Broken by such a trivial activity?"

The voice seemed to fade in and out around them, making its direction indistinct. The Galactors stumbled over themselves to grab their guns, but they had no idea where to point them.

"Where is he?!"

The haunting laughter resounded against the walls, occasionally punctuated by the sound of explosions in the base.

After she got over the initial shock, Jun started to grin when she realized that she had been all but forgotten in the onslaught of fear that gripped their enemies. No one paid any attention to her as she reached for the controls and released her teammates.

The Galactor soldiers started to scream as they became belatedly aware of the suddenly freed and highly dangerous Kagaku Ninjatai.

"You presumed too much, Berg Katse." Yet another explosion rocked the base.

"You had me in your power and at your mercy for over forty-eight hours." The soft purr carried over the sounds of battle and the explosions that roared through the base. "You could have destroyed me, Berg Katse. Cut my flesh, broken my bones, mutilated my body and spirit."

They couldn't pinpoint the direction the voice was coming from. The Galactors could only recognize the malice in the words and the flames of terror they stroked within them.

"Had you even thought of it, you could have irreversibly crippled Gatchaman and I would have been powerless to stop you, Berg Katse."

The Galactor soldiers dwindled to almost nothing around him, but Katse didn't care. The voice had captured his attention like a fly in a spider's web. The smooth, almost silky malevolence caressed his senses, feeding his fear as he cowered beside his latest creation.

"Well over forty-eight hours, Berg Katse. And all you have to show for it is twenty-four minutes of an uninspiring blue movie."

As the last of the Galactor soldiers fell to the Kagaku Ninjatai, an outline of a bird styled figure made its appearance surrounded by a halo of flames.

Berg Katse started to cry and he tried to hide himself behind his nightmare contraption. The Kagaku Ninjatai did not attempt to approach the Galactor commander as Gatchaman sauntered into the room. His very entrance seemed to charge the air with omnipotence and strength.

Gatchaman walked around the object with barely a glance and caught Katse by his collar. His other hand relieved the gibbering Galactor leader of his bird rang.

"It was a waste of time, Berg Katse. You will *never* have another opportunity with me, or with any of us again."

Katse started to scream in terror as Gatchaman pulled him off the floor.

"Sosai! Sosai X-sama! Save me!! Save me, please! SAVE ME!!"

Ken flinched from the blinding blue light, which suddenly surrounded the Galactor leader.

"SOSAI!!" The relief in the Galactor leader's voice was unmistakable.

"What?!" Ken's grip on Katse's collar disappeared.

"I CANNOT LET YOU HAVE HIM, GATCHAMAN. KATSE IS MY BELOVED PROTEGE AND I STILL HAVE NEED FOR HIM."

"Katse!" Ken swung around in fury when he realized that Katse had escaped them again. "Sosai X? Then the master makes his appearance, heh? I know you can hear me creature, and we *are* forewarned of your existence now."

"I'LL MEAN BUSINESS WHEN NEXT WE MEET."

"Do your worst," Ken twirled his bird rang in his hand before slipping it back into the holster. "We'll be waiting."

The mysterious voice said no more and the Kagaku Ninjtai Gatchaman were left alone in the ruined base. Joe had an expression of innocence on his face as he corked an eyebrow at his commander.

"The cameras are still rolling, commander."

"The *what*?"

"Over there." Ryu grinned as he reached past him to break and tear Katse's apparatus into as many little pieces as he could manage.

Jinpei had a huge grin on his face as he pointed behind Ken. Jun waved her hand at him from behind the camera which she had commandeered from the Galactor soldier.

"We're on live?!!!"

*~*~*~*~*

A crowd gathered at a wall of televisions at an appliance store.

"Ha! Look at them cower!"

"Hasn't even appeared yet, and he's got 'em quakin' in their boots."

"See any yellow puddles?"

"Galactors' made up o' a bunch o' cowards. Shows us you can't break Gatchaman!"

Their cheers and whoops as they watched the ISO sponsored playback carried clearly across the street to the cafe, where five youths were seated at a table with the remains of a mid-afternoon snack.

"I thought I killed all transmissions before I reached you. I have *never* been so embarrassed in all my life," Ken groaned from behind a pair of sunglasses.

"But you lap up this sort of thing, Ken. You're a natural showman." Ryu sniggered as he sipped the last of his coffee.

"It was ostentatious!" Ken leaned over the table and hid his head under his arms. "This sort of thing is between Katse and me. *Not* for public viewing."

Jun tousled the hair of his blond wig playfully. "What have *you* got to be embarrassed about? They're cheering for you."

"Yeah." Joe slumped in his chair with a petulant pout. "You hardly lifted a finger and Katse was ready to pee in his pants. Yak-yak-yak-yak-yakety-yak. You have a shoo-in career as a politician when this war is over."

"Yuck. That's a sub-species I want nothing to do with."

"Speaking of politicians... Anderson looked ready to kiss both your cheeks when we got back this morning." Jun grinned at him.

"That has got to be the best propaganda recording the ISO ever got their hands on." Ken groaned again. "I am soiled! The Public Relations department is going to pounce on it for *commercials*."

Jinpei snorted in laughter. "Hey, we could go into advertising! Get a line of kick ass athletic wear. We can get paid for this!"

Ken threw him a pained look. "No. We're ninjas and we're on public television. Sensei is going to kill us."

"Hopefully, he won't notice." Joe looked around nervously as if worried for a moment that the redoubtable old man might suddenly appear behind them. "He eschewed technology thirty years ago, he won't find out."

"We can hope."

They left unsaid the real reason behind the frequent playbacks by the United Nations. The Galactors still tried to use the videos of the rape, but countered with the ISO's showing of the Kagaku Ninjatai Gatchaman's total intimidation of Berg Katse, the earlier event was losing its impact.

"So tell us about your new job, Ken?" Ryu asked as he pushed cake crumbs around his plate.

He and the others were dying to know what Nambu and Anderson had managed to put together, to give Ken back some semblance of a private life.

The further improvements Nambu had made to their bird style meant they only needed to keep the bracelet, belt, shoes and a chain necklace. Their outing this day, with a wad of cash generously supplied by both Nambu and Anderson, was for the expressed purpose of clothes shopping. In general, the Kagaku Ninjatai's release from having major clothing restrictions would make it easier for them to disappear into crowds. They were in heaven.

Ken, though, had added needs compared to them. The team had earlier stood by in amusement to watch the confrontation between him and Nambu.

> _"I am *not* wearing makeup!"_
> 
> _"It's a disguise."_
> 
> _"You want to give me foundation, an eyebrow pencil, green contact lenses and a pair of scissors to cut my eye lashes." Ken had stared Nambu in the eye in exasperation. "With all due respect, Hakase. I was wearing a blindfold, I don't see how the general public will be able to recognize me from my eyes."_

Nambu dropped the issue on the makeup, but Ken conceded to wearing a blond wig and sunglasses. Besides, Joe claimed that he seemed to turn more eyes as a blond.

Ken leaned back in his seat with a smile.

"You're looking at the ISO's newest and brightest tech-jockey. I have a regular salary for once in my life and I get to play with all our prototype equipment."

"Regular? Does that mean you'll finally pay your tab?"

"I'm working on it," Ken promised her.

"Not too shabby." Joe looked at him with a touch of jealousy. "But you're also saddling yourself with tons of paperwork."

A pained expression flashed across his face, "Don't remind me. The paper work has to be done triplicate. On the other hand, I get to direct feed back the scientists and designers for all our equipment before we have to suffer them on the field."

They noticed his involuntary shudder.

"A--are you okay, Ken?"

"Hmmm? Oh, it's nothing. I was--just flashing back to a couple of designs I managed to derail before I came out to join you."

"Dare we ask? Or would we rather not want to know?" Joe looked at him cautiously.

"Would you believe the chicken ship from hell and a paper airplane were on the drawing board as replacements for the God Phoenix?"

"What? Replace my girl?! I'll mutiny!"

"You're kidding?" Joe punched his shoulder playfully.

Ken shook his head.

"You're not kidding?" An expression of abject worry crossed his face.

Ken nodded.

"So if I piss you off on any more missions, I stand a chance of being saddled with my worst nightmare for future equipment?"

Ken looked at Joe over the lowered rim of his sunglasses.

"Be *very* afraid, my friend."


	5. Epilogue

The half moon looked down upon a familiar lone figure as he walked along the stretch of an ISO restricted beach, alone with his thoughts. The roll and crash of the waves was the only physical sound around the white winged figure, but he paid no more attention to this soothing music of nature now than he did the night before.

Kentaro watched him quietly from behind some rocks. As far as he knew, the crisis was over. With the recent recording, there was no more doubt over the Eagle's emotional health or his ability to continue his role as leader of the Kagaku Ninjatai.

If his observations through the day were to be believed, Ken had already embraced the healing process and he was going to be all right. So why was he here now?

"You can stop trying to sneak around, Red Impulse," Ken threw his words behind him without looking towards Kentaro's position. "I know you're there."

Kentaro flushed slightly at the ease with which Ken spotted him.

"It's late to be out. I--suspect, you haven't slept much."

"Still have some nightmares." Ken shrugged as he waited for the Red Impulse Captain to catch up with him.

"I saw the broadcast."

"That was embarrassing."

"Well, maybe overly dramatic. But very entertaining."

"Oh, I'm sure Katse will disagree with you." Ken sighed as a wry grin touched his lips.

"You were in fine form. How are you now, if you don't mind my asking?"

"'Some wounds take time to heal.' You said so yourself. The fear is still there but--at least I know I can push it aside and still think clearly. The flashbacks aren't as frequent. It can still feel really bad sometimes."

Ken took a deep breath before he continued. "I'll be talking to a counselor in the morning, but until then... I needed this walk to clear my head."

"I--I'm ready to lend a shoulder any time you need it."

Ken looked up at him in surprise. "I thought it was only a one time offer."

"D--didn't mean it like that. I only said it so you'd accept. Sometimes people need confidants more than friends." Kentaro hoped that Ken couldn't hear the pounding of his heart as he said those words. "But I'll still kick your butt if you tell anyone of it."

Ken chuckled. "Maybe I'll take you up on it sometime."

They fell silent for awhile.

"I have to accept the good with the bad. It was--unpleasant and it hurt, but the team is stronger and I think happier for it." Ken sighed as he shuddered involuntarily. "Our bird style has become more versatile. We can ditch the numbered shirts and actually wear other stuff, so we don't feel like we're in uniform all the time. I actually have a steady civilian job now, which will give me the flexibility to be Gatchaman at the drop of a hat."

"Harsh price."

"It lead to the exposure of Katse's boss. Should be worth it."

"Nothing's worth that."

Ken ignored his words. "Have to wonder about this Sosai X figure, though. It looks like Katse may have just been a front for it."

"Just a puppet on a string. I never really considered that."

"Makes him all the more pitiable if that's all he is."

Kentaro's face went black. "The attack on you was pure Katse!"

Ken breathed in sharply at this pronouncement. "I know. But after our encounter, we can probably safely assume he won't try it again. It'll be straight torture if we ever fall into his hands."

They fell silent again. But this time, it was broken by Ken's gentle humming. It took a moment for Kentaro to recognize the tune though he didn't immediately latch on to its significance.

"Mother loved the theater."

"Well, then I guess it's not surprising you have a flare for the melodramatic. Have you a secret wish to be an aspiring thespian?"

"No, just means I've probably watched every musical produced before I was eight. The theater can leave a strong impression on a kid." Ken continued to walk along the beach. "I had some time to think and... I recalled you humming a tune to me last night. It was from Les Miserables, wasn't it."

Kentaro frowned slightly at the memory.

"So it was. 'Can you hear the people sing'" Kentaro coughed uncomfortably. "I wasn't aware I was humming."

"Just little memories of mother." Ken stopped to stare out to sea. "Hakase and the team even found me a replica of mother's table."

"That was nice of them."

"They even managed to find a copy of the bottle of placebos you left behind. What was it, 'Shop-a-holic Control?'"

"As if, more like 'Sanity Contr--"

Kentaro choked. It had come out so innocently.

"I'm *not* dumb, *dad*." Ken snorted over his shoulder at him. "I can have occasional flashes of inspiration."

"Y--you must have me mistaken fo--"

"Hardly. Your mistake was letting me get too close." Ken turned to look at him. "You can't tell me I don't recognize you now."

Kentaro couldn't meet his son's eyes. He was afraid of looking to find pain and hatred smothering in the blue depths.

"Wha--what gave me away?"

"You *are* good at hiding things, father. Little things, nothing overly obvious. The cologne for one, you used it to remind you of mother, didn't you? Then there was the tune you were humming as you held me. And your comments on stormy nights and frightened children. The debacle with the handcuffs was so like you."

Kentaro flushed at the statement.

"Other things started to fall into place, like your skill in the air. Nambu Hakase's familiarity with you... Other things I wouldn't have thought of."

"I--I'm sorry."

"I was angry. I can't lie about that, father. I was furious. But--it all made its own sense. I'm not angry anymore."

Kentaro looked sharply and found himself looking into the eyes of his son. His fears were mostly unfounded, because there was no hate, or pain or even disgust in those blue eyes, only a deep longing.

"I--I've missed it too."

"Missed what?"

"The hugs."

A smile touched Ken's lips. "I won't take your head off with the beak."

There wasn't any more need to stay apart as father and son rushed into an embrace.

Kentaro let his tears fall unheeded on the white helmet as he hugged his son to him. "I'm sorry, Ken. I thought I did the right thing all those years ago, to protect you and your mother. Then you grew up and I--I didn't know how to stop the lie anymore. I'm so sorry."

"I thought you didn't love me."

"That's not true. After you--it was tearing me apart. I wanted so much to comfort you, but I didn't know how. It would have been the worst timing to even think of confessing then."

"I--I understood that. If you--didn't care--you wouldn't be here at all."

Kentaro crushed his son to him, willing the moment to last forever.

Ken started to chuckle. "You know, father, if the Galactors were watching us now and did *not* conclude that we are related, it could get embarrassing."

"You mean if they start thinking to try and seduce us using men and not ladies?" Kentaro grimaced. "Well, at least we won't be as sorely tempted. Right?"

"I am *not* gay, father."

"That's a relief. At least I have *some* hope you'll continue the family line. You ignore the Swan too much, son."

Ken chortled. "It'll change. I can at least promise you that. We still have five guards to deal with though."

"Nambu's getting better. I'll just threaten these as well." Kentaro murmured. "Son, you realize we can't--"

"As little known connections between us as possible. I understand."

"We'll always have this beach."

Ken snuggled deeper in his embrace. Kentaro unconsciously started to hum with contentment. Ken picked up the humming as well.

Kentaro changed his humming to a soft singing as they released each other.

> * When the beating of your heart  
>  * Echos the beating of the drums  
>  * There is a life about to start  
>  * When tomorrow comes! 

Ken sang the next verse as they turned back towards the docks.

> * Will you join in our crusade?  
>  * Who will be strong and stand with me?  
>  * Somewhere beyond the barricade  
>  * Is there a world you long to see? 

Kentaro grinned as he picked up the next part, with an arm firmly around his son's shoulders.

> * Then join in the fight  
>  * That will give you the right to be free... 

They sang together in the chorus.

> * Do you hear the people sing?  
>  * Singing the song of angry men?  
>  * It is the music of a people  
>  * Who will not be slaves again!  
>  * When the beating of your heart  
>  * Echos the beating of the drums  
>  * There is a life about to start  
>  * When tomorrow comes! 

The End 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The mentioned novelty placebos are copyright 1980 by Marsyl Enterprises, Inc. Cody, Wyoming 82414. 
> 
> Les Miserables is a musical by Alan Boubul and Claude-Michale Schonberg based on the story by Victor Hugo. It is copyright by them and I make no claims to it.


	6. Afterword

He was a man in his mid-thirties, this tall, stalwart figure standing in the counselor's office. An 'everyman'. Someone you would probably pass in the streets without a second glance. His given name was Vincent and currently... he was a tower of frustration.

"It's *not* fair!"

"Vincent, calm down--"

"Damn it, doctor. Why is it so different? He was raped too! He was assaulted by god knows how many bastards over two f$%ing days!" Vincent rounded on his counselor in anger and frustration. "And you can't convince me that he's not a minor! Those f$%king assholes gang raped a boy and broadcast the monstrosity all over the globe."

The counselor stayed silent and let him rant.

"Every man, woman and child on this planet *knows* that he was sexually abused by those--those Galactor savages! They exposed him on TV!"

Vincent sank back into his chair and let his chin flop dejectedly on his chest. "And he just shrugged it off... Just barely two days after the Galactors started broadcasting his--his ordeal, Gatchaman cowed them and returned to life as normal. Why is it so easy for him? Why is it taking me so long to resolve *my* trauma?"

"Vincent," the counselor started gently, "You can't compare yourself to--"

"Doctor, it's just not fair. It--it took me--it took me *years* to decide to come to you. We've been talking for--for how many months? And--and I'm still not--I still can't--it's--it's just not fair!"

"Vincent, I would dare say Gatchaman couldn't have brushed off his trauma that easily." The counselor walked across the room to kneel beside the man. "How much do we really know about him? How much have we been allowed to see of him? Gatchaman *cannot* allow the Galactors to see any hint of suffering, Vincent. They will seize on any distress he shows as a weakness!"

She lifted his face so that he would meet her eyes. "Vincent, you have hidden your pain from your friends and family as well. Is it so hard to think that Gatchaman would have hidden *his* pain from the rest of the world? How can we say that the rape hasn't affected him?"

"He was gang raped on TV, doctor. There was so much blood and semen on him... There--there must have been--so many of them... It--it wasn't that bad for me. I only--it was only--one and--it was--it was hardly--hardly more than fifteen minutes." He looked away from her.

"But for him--it was--forty-eight hours... over forty-eight hours of--of a pack of animals assaulting him like--like sharks in a feeding frenzy. They--we saw them--continuously violating him... heaping abuse after abuse on him as he struggled and failed to fight them off... And--and it was--it was just--it was just a 'trivial' matter. He shrugged it off as--just trivial--"

"Vincent, you cannot compare your ordeal with Gatchaman's. You were viciously attacked by someone you thought you could trust. Gatchaman was abused as a prisoner of war. What happened to you is no less horrific than the assault on him." The doctor gripped his chin to make him face her again. "You can't compare what the powers that be allow us to see on TV with the true facts. Gatchaman can't share his pain with the world, Vincent. The Eagle cannot let the Galactors know how much he was hurt."

"And how do I know he was even hurt at all! We don't see anything different in how he usually operates. He's just a boy! How is it that he is so strong? What was the Eagle told to prepare himself for--for this kind of humiliation that he can shrug it off so easily? It's--just not fair, doctor. Why--can't--I be--as strong?"

"Vincent, you can't believe everything the media tells you. You don't know all the facts. You've never met the boy behind the mask of Gatchaman. How can you say he was not hurt? How can you think he hasn't suffered some sort of trauma from the experience?"

"How do I know he has, doctor? How do I know he was even hurt by this?"

"No one can know, Vincent. For the sake of this war, Gatchaman cannot share any of his pain with us. The Galactors *cannot* be allowed to think they can hurt Gatchaman."

"It's not fair to the rest of us."

"The war is never fair, Vincent. Don't hate Gatchaman for his strength. That is all he can allow himself to show to us. But we can't think or believe that he was not hurt at all, Vincent. We know better."

*~*~*~*~*

> _"The war is never fair, Vincent. Don't hate Gatchaman for his strength. That is all he can allow himself to show to us. But we can't think or believe that he was not hurt at all, Vincent. We know better."_

His counselor's words continued to ring in his ears as he shuffled down the street. It was true. Everyone looked up to Gatchaman. He was--he was strength and indomitable will personified. If just one crack appeared, the Galactors would seize upon it and exploit it to the max. With the eyes of the world upon him, Gatchaman couldn't afford to show any weakness.

But this knowledge didn't make him feel any better. The world saw Gatchaman subjected to a horrific gang rape and he walked away from it without batting an eye.

[Why can't I be as strong?]

He was just walking past a wall of televisions when a Public broadcast interrupted the scheduled programs.

[What propaganda bullshit do they want to throw at us now?]

Vincent stopped to watch disinterestedly as Chief Anderson approached the podium of the pressroom with a shaft of papers.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. I have here in my hand a statement to read to you. I'm sure you recall the telecast, several months ago, by Galactor of their contemptible sexual abuse of Gatchaman. I dare admit now, that we of the UN had greatly feared for the emotional and mental health of this young man for the unspeakable horror visited upon him during his captivity."

"Yet, Gatchaman once more proved himself to be stronger than Galactor would give him credit for. He proved to us all that the Galactors could never break him with their vile cruelty. He showed to the world the strength he would wield, to protect us from the evil that the Galactor Empire would spread if given a chance."

"Gatchaman more than justified our faith in his strength and ability to continue his fight to rid our nations of these terrorists who would try to hold our world hostage to their sick designs."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I have in my hand a statement from Gatchaman. Something he had wished to be shared with you. It was with great difficulty that he accept our refusal to let him deliver this statement to you in person. Because of his position, we could not allow him to endanger himself with this public exposure and so I have taken it upon myself to deliver his statement on his behalf."

> You know me as Owashi no Ken, as Gatchaman of the ISO's Kagaku Ninjatai. You know that I have pledged my life to fight for you against the tyranny of the Galactor Empire. I have sworn to protect you and guard us all from the mechanisms of the Galactor Empire, because it is for you that I am Gatchaman. It is for you that I face danger and lead the Kagaku Ninjatai in our war against Galactor. It is my pledge to protect you.
> 
> Yet, in the past months, I have come to realize that I have done to some of you a great disservice. It was not my intention to hurt you, but in my thoughtlessness, I did. And I deeply apologize for my cruelty.
> 
> You wonder how I have done this 'great disservice?'
> 
> Several months ago, I was captured by the Galactors and their leader, Berg Katse, arranged for his soldiers to subjected me to methodical rape in an effort to break my spirit. After my escape, he attempted to demoralize your spirits, by broadcasting his recording of my gang rape into your homes and offices. The Galactors accomplished neither of these goals.
> 
> Summarily, the next broadcast showed the Galactors for the cowards they were and you were privy to my feelings and opinion of their attempt to use sexual abuse against me. This was where I committed my insult.
> 
> I say this because I had not intended for you to see or hear my exchange with Berg Katse. For if I had known you were to hear it as well, I would not have chosen my words so poorly.
> 
> For you to hear from my lips that I considered the sexual assault 'a trivial activity,' was a great injustice to those of you who are victims of this crime of violence. And I offer my humblest apologies for this offense.
> 
> Any questions you may have had on my health or on my ability to continue my role as Gatchaman in the aftermath of my assault, I had intended to address in my actions and in my continued battle against Galactor. I think you have seen enough proof that my ability and will has been neither diminished nor weakened by my ordeal.
> 
> As Gatchaman, I am unbending and unwavering in this war against the Galactor Empire. However, I would be perpetuating a lie if I were to let you believe that the person behind the mask was not hurt by the assault of the Galactors.
> 
> I am not always Gatchaman. Outside the uniform, I had a life which I could retreat to between battles. I had a life where I could walk among you and pretend to be an ordinary citizen. The Galactors took that life away when they unmasked me.
> 
> My private life was shattered. With my identity exposed, I could no longer walk among you and pretend to be like you. That refuge from the war was destroyed, and I was now a target. I could no longer feel safe anywhere and I felt as if I had to brace myself to be attacked at any moment. But that was the least of my distress.
> 
> I had always known of the various dangers my identity as Gatchaman forced upon my life. Yet nothing could have prepared me to be raped. I--I had prayed during the beginning of the assault that it was all a nightmare which I could awaken from. I could not believe that such a thing was happening to me. L--lat--later, I realized the soldiers had been ordered that I--I--

Anderson had stopped reading at this point. Even through the distance of television, it could be seen that the portly statesman had grown as white as a sheet. He was gripping the podium with trembling hands as if it was the only support which kept him standing.

Someone was handing the director a glass of water as they waited for him brace himself to continue.

Vincent started as he looked around him to realize that a sizable but silent crowd had gathered during the speech. It surprised him that he had not noticed and even now did not feel a familiar terror of being hemmed in and surrounded.

The sound of Chief Anderson clearing his throat brought all attention back to the broadcast.

> L--later, I realized the soldiers had been ordered that--I be subjected to continuous sexual abuse until my spirit was broken.
> 
> Some might consider it a smarter course if I had submitted to the abuse instead of fighting. That knowing the result needed to halt the abuse, I might have faked a broken spirit to escape further violation and defilement. But I knew that Berg Katse wanted to record this and use it to demoralize the spirit of the free world. Gatchaman could not allow them the satisfaction.
> 
> It was Gatchaman who eventually planned the escape. Who though drugged, still kept presence of mind to wait and fake unconsciousness to lessen and dissuade further assaults. It was Gatchaman who waited until the physical body could recover from the shock of the abuse to escape the prison and later destroy the base.
> 
> Gatchaman could survive and rise above the assault. But it was the boy behind the mask who had to live with the memories and flashbacks, which would haunt him from the attack. And in these memories, I could not be Gatchaman. In these memories, I was a boy who was shrieking in terror and revulsion at what was done to me.
> 
> I did not want to be that boy. My private life was taken away but I still had my duty and dedication to fall back upon. I thought that was enough to just be Gatchaman. I had felt that I could only find solace in my identity as Gatchaman.
> 
> It was probably irony in itself that I created a total reverse of my earlier management of identities. Gatchaman had become an identity I escaped to, whenever the pressures of my private life grew too much for me to handle. But my family and friends refused to let me give up my other life. They refused to allow me to stay locked in my role as Gatchaman.
> 
> With the war around us, it was all too easy for me to escape into my work and just be Gatchaman over the objections of family and friends. I felt that I had little reason to try to take on a new identity. The things I used to enjoy as an ordinary citizen no longer brought me the same pleasure. My life as an ordinary citizen had no importance to the world and I felt that there was little reason for me to set aside my work to take that role again.
> 
> Then I realized that I could not allow Galactor to destroy my private life. I could not let them claim even this personal victory over me. But I could not face it alone, I needed to reach out for help.
> 
> I would be lying, if I were to say that it was easy for me to seek a counselor's advice. I felt disinclined to speak with them and found myself occasionally making excuses to avoid them. Then, I was fortunate enough to encounter my current counselor. And she started to help me rebuild another private life from scratch.
> 
> My family, friends and my counselor helped me to stop hiding behind the role of Gatchaman. And it was only with their support, and the support of other victims of rape who've reached out to me during my counseling, that I started to learn to live a private life again.
> 
> Not all of you who I've met through my counselor know who I really am. And it was through you that I realized the injustice Gatchaman had unintentionally met out, in making the world think I had emerged unscathed from my ordeal. I could not let that lie stand and that is why I asked for this press conference.
> 
> To those of you who have reached out to me and helped me through my counseling, I thank you for your courage in sharing your experience with me and for the strength you have given me to rebuild my private life.
> 
> To those of you out there who have also been victims of rape or sexual abuse and who still hold it as a secret within you, I want you to know that you are not alone. You don't have to suffer alone. There are people out there who can help you. It is not a shame to seek help. Do not let it destroy you. Do not give this victory to your assailants. You are not alone, and you can find the strength to face this.
> 
> I am Gatchaman, I will not break to whatever abuse the Galactors try to subject me to. They will fail because I will not allow them any victory over us. I am Owashi no Ken, the White Shadow of the Kagaku Ninjatai and I have pledged my life to protect this earth and to bring about the annihilation of the Galactor Empire.
> 
> And I am also a private citizen, who strives to be counted as a survivor of rape and sexual assault.

Chief Anderson lowered the papers and looked up to the cameras again.

"That--that is all. No questions, I--I. That is all that is to be said."

The regular broadcasts continued as scheduled, stirring the silent audience back into motion.

Vincent shook himself out of his passivity and looked around him. The mood of the crowd was distinctly somber and he could not help but notice the rather large number of people reaching for handkerchiefs or tissues to dab at tears which had formed during the broadcast.

He reached up to his face and was un-surprised to find tears rolling down his cheeks as well. [He wasn't unaffected and he--he actually let us know. He--he shared his pain with all of us.]

"I still say it was an unnecessary risk."

Vincent started slightly at the growling voice, which seemed to stand out amid the murmuring of the dispersing crowd.

"It was something I *needed* to do, father."

[Is that Gatchaman? Here?] Vincent turned around discreetly, trying to pinpoint the speakers in the crowd. It took him a bit of searching, but he found them.

A tall dark man, in a white suit and fedora, walking beside a bespectacled blond youth, dressed in black shirt, green jeans and jacket.

"Are you still worried the Galactors would use it against me?"

Vincent strained his ears to listen, trying hard not to let father and son know that he was eavesdropping on their quiet exchange.

"No, at least not against Gatchaman. But you exposed yourself, you laid your soul bare to the world. Now Katse knows for sure he's hurt you."

"But he's also seen that he hasn't hurt Gatchaman and it is *Gatchaman* who makes their life a living hell. He can break me down, he can trash my private life but he will never break Gatchaman. I have to be fair to the other victims of sexual abuse, father. I--I *was* hurt by the ordeal. To be fair, I had to let them know that." The blond youth turned towards his father. "Ar--are you ashamed of me f--for admitti--"

"No! *Don't* you *ever* think that I could be ashamed of you!" The father pulled him into a tight hug.

Vincent's eyes widened slightly as he noticed that slight almost imperceptible flinch in the youth, when his father's arms had shot out to reach around him and crush him in an embrace. He doubted that the father noticed the flinch, or even felt the slight momentary shiver that ran through his son, since the boy returned his hug and snuggled deeper into the embrace.

"I'm just--I'm scared for you. Katse can be--"

"Katse did not become a bigger monster just because he ordered my rape. The danger was always there, father, it'll never go away. It's what I will always have to live with." The youth murmured into his father's shirt. "I can't keep hiding behind my work, father. You've taught me that. I have to confront the fears."

The youth drew back slightly to look up into his father's eyes. "Not all rape victims have as extensive a support structure as you all have built for me, father. And they--all of us need to seek help. I couldn't let it stand as it was, father. It wouldn't have been fair."

"The war is never fair, son." The older man pulled him back into a tighter embrace. "I'm--I'm proud of you. Don't you *ever* think I could ashamed of you. It would have been so much easier to hide and not let anyone know... You did good, son. I *am* proud of you."

They stayed in the embrace for only a few minutes longer before the slowly gathering onlookers made them uncomfortable enough to leave.

"Did you realize how schizoid you made yourself sound, son?"

"Perils of keeping a secret identity, father. You have a persona at work, at play, at home..." He gave his father a dirty look. "When I start giving each of these personas a name and start referring to them in third person, *then* you can start worrying about it, okay?"

The father chuckled as he punched his son's shoulder playfully at his expression of exasperation.

Vincent leaned against a wall as he watched father and son disappear into the crowd. His head was swimming from the public broadcast and from what he had just overheard.

[He's just like anyone of us. Just as scared... traumatized... hurt... No different to the rest of us, who can suppress it enough to go on with our daily lives and hide it from friends, family and co-workers.]

The stalwart man pushed himself away from the wall and started walking back to his counselor's office.

[Only difference is, it--it must be so much harder when he's got the whole world watching him and depending on him... When he has to confront the cause of his pain almost--almost every day. He has to face the Galactors all the time--be responsible for his team--face that fear that it will happen again, to him or to his teammates. With all of us depending on him, he can find the strength to be Gatchaman *for* us. Yet for just himself...]

[He could have given it up... just retreated into the role of Gatchaman and thrown away the pain of having to rebuild his life. But he looked for help and he's facing the pain just like the rest of us.]

Vincent unconsciously started to straighten his shoulders as he walked.

[Despite all the pain the Galactors put him through, he could still find the strength to carry on and rebuild. I can do it too!]

The End


End file.
